EFs and family events

[yogi]

Does anyone else struggle with emotional flashbacks when they feel pressured to spend time with family? I think it happens to me whenever I make plans to see my mother and/or siblings. I posted on here for the first time the other day alluding to how I am realising now that I was emotionally neglected and perhaps abused by my mother. My whole family feels like a complicated, toxic mess at times. But they want contact with me. Sometimes I make excuses but other times I arrange to see them but when it comes to it I just can't go, so I usually cancel the day before. This afternoon I just cancelled a lunch with them and my brother sent me a horrible text, basically saying "what a surprise, have a nice life...", like he has had enough. I was already feeling so hyper-vigilant and anxious, which is why I politely and apologetically cancelled the plans (I didn't tell them why though). Reading that text from my brother left me suddenly feeling like I am the problem and the emotions bubbling inside me also contained SO MUCH rage. The feeling is so intense that I often end up thinking/saying "I just want to die" and getting into an argument with my boyfriend. In times like this I feel so helpless and like the emotions in my body are unbearable. I could just explode. Eventually it passes and gives way to numbness and exhaustion. It can take me days to get back on track sometimes as I feel so out of it and drained. Is this an EF?

[Dee]

I struggle with this too.  If I don't do what she wants, when she wants she doesn't talk to me.  She won't answer a text or phone call.  I finally realized this is her issue and I don't worry about it like I use to.  When I stopped responding she stopped doing it.  When I met with my dad I became suicidal.  I have learned boudoirs and how to distance, but I still struggle.