Love Map / Sexuality issues TW - Sexual abuse

[Blueberry]

**TW - reactive behavior**

... All of my fantasies are derived through someone else's pleasure, with me being the one objectified.

Aliasgrace, this sounds like my reaction. Thank you for giving me words for it, and also for your very open, honest post on a subject I found so hard.

[Dee]

**TW - reactive behavior**

... All of my fantasies are derived through someone else's pleasure, with me being the one objectified.

Aliasgrace, this sounds like my reaction. Thank you for giving me words for it, and also for your very open, honest post on a subject I found so hard.

It is a hard subject; I have that issue as well.  I tried to look it up and it is complicated, but makes sense.  It seems that pleasure, love, and abuse can become intertwined.  It is something I have never discussed with my therapist.  Just another secret that isn't helpful.

[Blueberry]

While I'm sad for you both, Aliasgrace and Dee, that you have this problem too, it helps me to hear directly from 2 other survivors that I'm not alone in this. I've been told by a couple of Ts before that this is common, but that doesn't soothe my feelings about this as much as hearing from survivors.   

[BlancaLap]

**TW - reactive behavior**

... All of my fantasies are derived through someone else's pleasure, with me being the one objectified.

Aliasgrace, this sounds like my reaction. Thank you for giving me words for it, and also for your very open, honest post on a subject I found so hard.

*T.W.*
It is a hard subject; I have that issue as well.  I tried to look it up and it is complicated, but makes sense.  It seems that pleasure, love, and abuse can become intertwined.  It is something I have never discussed with my therapist.  Just another secret that isn't helpful.

I heard of this. I think it is because a defense mechanism. Abuso feels like rape, because when rape happens you're objectified: it's not about love, but rather about power.