TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
6 Years of Darkness;
I was 5 when my 6 years of darkness began. I had been spanked before this point...regularly...am still struggling to accept that was child abuse too. But this specifically focuses on a 6 year period of intense child abuse, physical, mental, emotional and so on. I had been nearly caught, that morning, being csa by a teen at least 10 years older than me. It was the manager of the apartment complex I lived in. He heard me screaming and crying and ran over to see me laying naked on the floor crying in pain. And teen was standing over me laughing. Anyway, he told my mom what he saw.
That night was the first beating I remember. For the next 6 years, mom would beat me 4-5 times a week. I don't remember much....can't see her face, hear her voice, can't hear belt cutting through the air...my brothers have confirmed these things...mom had the most evil look on her face, growling like a monster, and saying the ugliest things imagineable, to a little boy. When she didn't have her belt on, she would use what ever was at hand. Wooden cooking utensil, not just wooden spoons. I've had a handful of them broken over my head. Several times she used an extension cord, wire coat hangers, don't know what else. Mostly used hand to smack face/mouth. Solid wooden hair brush on head...too many times...not remember but remember hurt so bad...make dizzy sometimes. Leave lumps on head last for days.
Sometimes dad would do punishing...usually mom did when dad was at work. He never knew the extent mom had gone with this. Several times dad would grab my hair to hold me still and use hand on butt. Only did that in the first year or two...maybe 3-4 times all together. Would grab so tight...hurt worse than anything else...never felt hand hitting me, feel feet swing up off the ground though...everything white hot, can't see or hear...white hot fire in head...was bad bad bboy. so bad. Sometimes him use belt too. Liked to do on bare skin...sting so much worse. One time got buckle end. Sometimes smack mouth...loosened teeth a time or two....
The very last time was the switch...36 inches long, 2 inches at the handle end and 1 inch at the other end. Took 3 hours to find good branch and cut off tree in backyard. Then 3 more hours...then a dozen or more swings...lost count after 12...had welts on lower back, butt and upper thighs. Couldn't sit for a week. Back hurt for a month.
Not sure if food being withheld is physical abuse, or bread and water rations. Or being forced to eat stuff the next day. Sometimes had to sit at table while others ate. Sometimes sent to room . But when on bread and water rations...could only leave room for bathroom/showers. This was all mom.
Also not sure about writing as punishment is physical abuse...sit and write for hours...copy dictionary pages...write sentences. One Summer I wrote 50,000 sentences.
Was so so naughty boy....so naughty. Never good. I just couldn't do it right. Nothing was ever right or good. Do over do over punish, again again punish.
