Challenging your EFs

[LittleBird]

I found myself in a state today. I managed to sit down and zoom into the sofa and remember a traumatic memory. It was going there deliberately during an EF,  understanding why I felt so scared with my logical adult mind. I managed because I was physically safe and because I allowed myself to go there.

It was very upsetting in that moment,  but so much better after. It took active control and was tough but was really helpful. Not sure if anyone else uses this or if this is usual anyway. Feel that bit lighter now 

[Three Roses]

Awesome!! Easy to go, good job you! 

[AphoticAtramentous]

That's wonderful to hear Restful. ^-^ Great progress! 

[DecimalRocket]

 

[LittleBird]

Thanks  It's a start!

[Blueberry]

that's great progress, restful! 

[Slackjaw99]

I know this is an old thread, but it's actually a much more important topic than most cPTSD sufferers realize.

I used to fear and run from my EFs like nothing else, now I run toward and embrace them as opportunities for healing. From age 15 to 51 I used every substance legal and illegal I could get to suppress EFs especially before I knew what they were. I've been to alcohol rehab multiple times. I have a large toolbox of dissociation activities designed to distract from these episodes.

Recently, one night I decided to try the opposite during a particularly strong EF. I sat down in a dark, private room, ingested some plant medicine, and after about ten minutes of holotropic breathing to stimulate my vagus nerve I asked my IC what if anything he was trying to tell me. It was quite similar to that scene in The Sixth Sense ;-)

What happened next was the most intense cathartic experiences of my life! I was able to give my IC permission to cry unrestrained for the losses and hurts of childhood. I sobbed and writhed to within my physical limits of my strength. Every muscle in my body was engaged for 30 minutes, and I released a major chunk of lifetime traumatic energy. I've had a handful more of these experiences since to the point where my cPTSD is now in remission based on watching my symptoms evaporate.

A lot of us are convinced that running towards our past trauma would be too overwhelming, but coming away from this experience I believe that our brains truly want to heal and won't give us more than we can handle during such experiences.  I've been transformed by knowing I not only never have to fear another EF, but now welcome them because I now know that they are really just a reminder to check in with my IC (which in a neuroscience translation is the emotional center of my brain) to see what's up and release any lingering trauma.