A New Hope I Have

[Jonesmachine]

Hello there

It's Monday morning and I'm out of another weekend "Melange". Mondays are so much brighter for me.
I was shown Surviving and Thriving by Pete Walker by my counselor after experiencing what turned out to be an EF induced by a visit to my Father's house earlier this year. Things have been clicking into place ever since, I am constantly astonished how close to my experience the symptoms of CPTSD describe. Coming to terms with having "a condition" or a "disorder" have been tough. I only really have my counselor to talk to about it.

My CPTSD was caused by the trauma of childhood domestic abuse, childhood illness, alcoholism and bullying.

I am mostly in the throngs of self-soothing behaviours, eg food, alcohol, etc before I realise I am in an EF. I just know that the curtains have been drawn and i'm heavy, feeling small etc...I have been numbing out my whole life.

The hardest battle is with my inner critic. He is most persistent. It is hard to use thought stopping or positive alternative thoughts when I am feeling emotionally weak, small and fragile.

My work as a carer helps me...also the routine of living with my dog has been a life saver.

Well...on with the day.

I look forward to chatting to others

[Rainagain]

Welcome aboard Jones machine,

Its tough coming to terms with the symptoms and working out why they are there.

Lots of people in the same boat here, its a really useful safe place to explore.

[Blueberry]

Hello Jonesmachine  and Welcome!

[Three Roses]

Welcome, Jones Machine! I look forward to hearing more from you.

[sanmagic7]

hey, jonesmachine, glad you're here.

this place has been a lifesaver for me, working thru things, getting support from warm, kind, caring people.  i hope you also get what you need here.  welcome.

[Jonesmachine]

Thanks everyone for your welcomes