The answer was always no

[Phoebes]

Oh Lily, a child should be able to freely be excited and experience child things. It's heartbreaking that that was taken away from you, even in one instance. I feel sad for you and understand why it would make you emotional. I am learning to allow myself to grieve "little" things, which I don't believe are so little after all as I once thought. There's just so many of them. We longed to be able to do what should have been the norm. It IS upsetting.