Meaningless

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BlancaLap

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Meaningless
« on: December 29, 2017, 12:46:23 AM »
It feels like nothing makes sense, like nothing has a meaning.

I know I have been posting a lot, I just want to know if someone can relate. Idk why, but I guess it is some sort of hunger for connection, even though I will not end up feeling connected at the end, no matter how many respond to my post. It always like this... no matter how much I stay with people, talk to people, meet with people... I even met a person with dissociation, just like me, but I don't feel connected. And when people tell me things like: "you are not alone" or "it happens to me too" I don't feel connected either... it's just that nothing makes sense, that nothing has a meaning, cause I don't feel it.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2017, 02:35:12 AM by BlancaLap »

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Rainagain

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2017, 02:54:27 AM »
Numbing is a recognised symptom, creates a space between you and others preventing the sort of connection you can't find.

Just a guess

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Three Roses

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2017, 05:01:15 AM »
Do you have a therapist you can work with to get you feeling more connection?

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DecimalRocket

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2017, 05:41:31 AM »
Ah, thatís unfortunate. Itís better these days, but I know what itís like to be so numbed you canít feel any emotional connection  with people or sense of meaning. Iíve had many many many journal entires on OOTS and outside it just trying to gain this ability back. And for years. I still get like it this times, honestly.

An empty vacuum. A strange need to feel something. Anything. Yet not having enough motivation to try.

I guess any validation of support from me wonít work enough so Iíll try something else.

These are all suggestions ó so take it with a grain of salt, and agree or disagree as you like. Or ignore it as you wish.

Maybe thereís another cause to your issue that doesnít involve talking to people who are supportive, or a specific way you interact with people. Maybe it works better face to face, or with a specific person for you. Maybe thereís something youíre avoiding opening up somehow. Or maybe you just need more time with others.

Maybe it could be more of something that is internal in you ó a feeling, belief or intention you may or may not be aware of, that you could only find by deep reflection. It could mean more of a need to grieve, and to allow some emotions out to feel connected again. It could even be unrelated to what the issue you think is the cause, and the numbness towards other things were an additional side effect.

Whatever it is, I hope you take care, and take it at your own pace. :hug:

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BlancaLap

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2017, 09:58:27 AM »
Do you have a therapist you can work with to get you feeling more connection?

I have a new T

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K9 2

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2017, 02:51:47 AM »
Is it more of a feeling of not connecting or feeling isolated from others?

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LittleBird

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2017, 08:00:05 AM »
I'm the opposite BlancaLap, my life is suddenly too full of significance. Walking down the street makes me lose my footing.

Dissociation is tough. Can you make one step at a time, one extra interaction at a time? Perhaps it's not about finding the perfect T but trusting that any forward step is still going to be a part of your journey? All the best to you, I know how hard this is.

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BlancaLap

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2017, 12:04:19 PM »
Is it more of a feeling of not connecting or feeling isolated from others?

It's a feeling that I'm not actually talking to anybody when I am... well, actually is the LACK of feeling that I'm talking to a HUMAN being...
« Last Edit: December 30, 2017, 08:35:07 PM by BlancaLap »

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BlancaLap

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2017, 12:07:28 PM »
Dissociation is tough. Can you make one step at a time, one extra interaction at a time? Perhaps it's not about finding the perfect T but trusting that any forward step is still going to be a part of your journey?
Sometimes I see it that way, sometimes not, but that's not actually something I can control.

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BlancaLap

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2018, 10:33:28 AM »
What happened to the last posts I made here?

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Elphanigh

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2018, 02:54:27 PM »
BlancaLap, if they were posted on the 24th or before they will be on the old forum. You still have access to that through the old link, but all of those posts did not transfer over. You can always copy and repost them to the new forum.

With the platform migration everything from the 24th on was not placed here. It was a lot to do with how the IT needed to handle the process

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BlancaLap

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Re: Meaningless
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2018, 06:33:54 PM »
ok, thanks