Hi, I'm Mark

Started by mileshope, September 06, 2014, 11:25:42 PM

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mileshope

Hello.  I found this website recently and it clicked in my mind that I'm CPTSD.  I know that CPTSD is not officially recognized, but it should be.  I am 39 and married with 4 kids.  I'm about to be 40 next month.  I have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.  I knew I had SAD long before it was established as a real disorder.  Was on meds for a while, but antidepressants don't help.  I have managed to get xanax a few times from general physicians, but they commonly don't want people to develop dependence on them.  I struggle with compulsive online chatting with other women.  It's a way for my to escape when I feel stressed or panicky.  I have struggled with other sexual behavior in the past, but have gotten it under control.  I go to a 12-step group for this.

My father is undiagnosed Aspergers with social anxiety.  He smokes constantly to manage his anxiety.  My mother was sexually and emotionally abused as a child.  She has PTSD and panic disorder as a result.  Both were emotionally neglectful to me in childhood.  I only remember two hugs in childhood from them (touch deprivation).  I have no memory of being told 'I love you.'  As a result, I constantly and consistently feel unloved and unsettled, and struggle with low self-esteem and social anxiety.  My parents divorced when I was around 11 and they essentially stopped parenting.  I became very isolated from then and onward.

Hello.  I welcome your thoughts, especially if you think this is CPTSD or attachment of what.

-Mark.

schrödinger's cat

Hi Mark, and welcome. I'm new here too, and no expert at all whatsoever. Kizzie (I think it was her?) posted a link to a website recently. It's by a therapist who specializes in CPTSD. One section in particular was a real eye-opener for me, and given what you wrote here, you might find it interesting, too. http://www.pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html - scroll down to the question: "How did I get Complex PTSD?" He says that his experiences have told him that emotional neglect on its own is enough to cause CPTSD. His website is full of information and helpful resources.

Kizzie

Hi and welcome to OOTS Mileshope!

We can't diagnose here as we're not trained professionals, but if you have read through the description of CPTSD and it resonates, then you are welcome to post . Childhood abuse and neglect is a major cause of CPTSD.  If you haven't already have a look at the forum "CPTSD - General Discussion" and the topic "So, What is CPTSD" - you can start there.  Do you have some/all of the symptoms?  Social anxiety is certainly one as well. 

If you're seeing a therapist you could certainly ask him/her or your GP.  I was quite surprised when my new GP (we moved last fall) knew exactly what I meant by CPTSD, that's not always the case as it's a relative newcomer as SAD was a decade or so ago. Your GP may also be able to help with a med that is more targeted to CPTSD/SAD.

As SDK suggests have a look at Pete Walker's site too.  Lots of great info and tools there.  He is one of the few therapists to write about CPTSD for us rather than for other T's. There's also a new site I just found which is also good - http://giftfromwithin.org/html/cptsd-understanding-treatment.html. Lots of reading lol, but it's a good place to start. 

Glad you found your way here and I look forward to chatting  ;D





globetrotter

Welcome Mark!
Like most things, recognizing the demons is the first step to tackling them.

Badmemories

Hi Mark, I just wanted to Welcome YOU to the forum. I hope that You will feel comfortable here! It is helpful to read about others and what they are doing to heal themselves. I have noticed an improvement on myself since being active on this site and Out Of The Fog.

One thing that really helps IS not feeling so a lone. I also click on all the sites people recommend... that helps me to understand! I see YOU have been working on Your problems too. That is a plus. I am part Fawn, so I go into depression to get away from My problems. When I do that I am trying to escape from My problems.