dissociation and what is behind it

[Kizzie]

Do you mean that pushing down our IC makes dissociation worse Cat?  If so, I'd say yes in the sense that if our IC can have some fun, s/he will begin to understand not all life is painful and we will not feel the need to go away, to numb as much.     

[schrödinger's cat]

Yes, that too. And the way we're made to be irreal. Our real self isn't wanted, so we bend ourselves into pretzels and create a fake self. Our natural responses to bad situations are dangerous, so we create fake responses - calmness instead of tears, compliance instead of protest. Our real perceptions are discouraged. People give us a set of fake perceptions that we're supposed to have instead. In everything, there's a move from the real/natural to the fake. I'm wondering if that has any effect on our dissociation.

[lonewolf]

Our real self isn't wanted, so we bend ourselves into pretzels and create a fake self. Our natural responses to bad situations are dangerous, so we create fake responses - calmness instead of tears, compliance instead of protest. Our real perceptions are discouraged. People give us a set of fake perceptions that we're supposed to have instead. In everything, there's a move from the real/natural to the fake. I'm wondering if that has any effect on our dissociation.

This is a very profound insight. I think the "fake" is actually a manifestation of the dissociation that also perpetuates the cycle. Is that too circular?

[Kizzie]

Ouch, my head hurts lol   

It's late but I'll give it a whirl - Lone Wolf I don't know if I'm fake so much when I dissociate as I'm just gone on some level.  I do know I dissociate when the real me threatens to come out in a situation though but whether it's a fake me left behind or part real me 

Ok that's all I have - time to 

[lonewolf]

Ouch, my head hurts lol   

It's late but I'll give it a whirl - Lone Wolf I don't know if I'm fake so much when I dissociate as I'm just gone on some level.  I do know I dissociate when the real me threatens to come out in a situation though but whether it's a fake me left behind or part real me 

Ok that's all I have - time to 

I fear I was misunderstood. I need to think about this more. I didn't mean to dismiss.

[schrödinger's cat]

Lonewolf, that sounds plausible, what you said about it being a vicious circle. A bit like a depression: depression => lack of motivation => you end up sitting still a lot => sitting still can sometimes make your depression worse => lack of motivation... etc.

I'm not sure which came first, the dissociation or the fakeness, but moving towards what's real does make me feel more grounded and less dissociated.