dissociation and what is behind it

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Kizzie

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Re: dissociation and what is behind it
« Reply #15 on: March 10, 2015, 05:37:55 PM »
Do you mean that pushing down our IC makes dissociation worse Cat?  If so, I'd say yes in the sense that if our IC can have some fun, s/he will begin to understand not all life is painful and we will not feel the need to go away, to numb as much.     

Re: dissociation and what is behind it
« Reply #16 on: March 10, 2015, 05:53:49 PM »
Yes, that too. And the way we're made to be irreal. Our real self isn't wanted, so we bend ourselves into pretzels and create a fake self. Our natural responses to bad situations are dangerous, so we create fake responses - calmness instead of tears, compliance instead of protest. Our real perceptions are discouraged. People give us a set of fake perceptions that we're supposed to have instead. In everything, there's a move from the real/natural to the fake. I'm wondering if that has any effect on our dissociation.

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lonewolf

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Re: dissociation and what is behind it
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2015, 12:00:07 AM »
Our real self isn't wanted, so we bend ourselves into pretzels and create a fake self. Our natural responses to bad situations are dangerous, so we create fake responses - calmness instead of tears, compliance instead of protest. Our real perceptions are discouraged. People give us a set of fake perceptions that we're supposed to have instead. In everything, there's a move from the real/natural to the fake. I'm wondering if that has any effect on our dissociation.

This is a very profound insight. I think the "fake" is actually a manifestation of the dissociation that also perpetuates the cycle. Is that too circular?

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Kizzie

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Re: dissociation and what is behind it
« Reply #18 on: March 11, 2015, 04:24:54 AM »
Ouch, my head hurts lol  :stars: 

It's late but I'll give it a whirl - Lone Wolf I don't know if I'm fake so much when I dissociate as I'm just gone on some level.  I do know I dissociate when the real me threatens to come out in a situation though but whether it's a fake me left behind or part real me  ???

Ok that's all I have - time to  :zzz:

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lonewolf

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Re: dissociation and what is behind it
« Reply #19 on: March 11, 2015, 04:59:58 AM »
Ouch, my head hurts lol  :stars: 

It's late but I'll give it a whirl - Lone Wolf I don't know if I'm fake so much when I dissociate as I'm just gone on some level.  I do know I dissociate when the real me threatens to come out in a situation though but whether it's a fake me left behind or part real me  ???

Ok that's all I have - time to  :zzz:

I fear I was misunderstood. I need to think about this more. I didn't mean to dismiss.

Re: dissociation and what is behind it
« Reply #20 on: March 11, 2015, 07:33:28 AM »
Lonewolf, that sounds plausible, what you said about it being a vicious circle. A bit like a depression: depression => lack of motivation => you end up sitting still a lot => sitting still can sometimes make your depression worse => lack of motivation... etc.

I'm not sure which came first, the dissociation or the fakeness, but moving towards what's real does make me feel more grounded and less dissociated.