dissociation and what is behind it

Started by wingnut, January 25, 2015, 03:04:12 PM

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Kizzie

Do you mean that pushing down our IC makes dissociation worse Cat?  If so, I'd say yes in the sense that if our IC can have some fun, s/he will begin to understand not all life is painful and we will not feel the need to go away, to numb as much.     

schrödinger's cat

Yes, that too. And the way we're made to be irreal. Our real self isn't wanted, so we bend ourselves into pretzels and create a fake self. Our natural responses to bad situations are dangerous, so we create fake responses - calmness instead of tears, compliance instead of protest. Our real perceptions are discouraged. People give us a set of fake perceptions that we're supposed to have instead. In everything, there's a move from the real/natural to the fake. I'm wondering if that has any effect on our dissociation.

lonewolf

Quote from: schrödinger's cat on March 10, 2015, 05:53:49 PM
Our real self isn't wanted, so we bend ourselves into pretzels and create a fake self. Our natural responses to bad situations are dangerous, so we create fake responses - calmness instead of tears, compliance instead of protest. Our real perceptions are discouraged. People give us a set of fake perceptions that we're supposed to have instead. In everything, there's a move from the real/natural to the fake. I'm wondering if that has any effect on our dissociation.

This is a very profound insight. I think the "fake" is actually a manifestation of the dissociation that also perpetuates the cycle. Is that too circular?

Kizzie

Ouch, my head hurts lol  :stars: 

It's late but I'll give it a whirl - Lone Wolf I don't know if I'm fake so much when I dissociate as I'm just gone on some level.  I do know I dissociate when the real me threatens to come out in a situation though but whether it's a fake me left behind or part real me  ???

Ok that's all I have - time to  :zzz:

lonewolf

Quote from: Kizzie on March 11, 2015, 04:24:54 AM
Ouch, my head hurts lol  :stars: 

It's late but I'll give it a whirl - Lone Wolf I don't know if I'm fake so much when I dissociate as I'm just gone on some level.  I do know I dissociate when the real me threatens to come out in a situation though but whether it's a fake me left behind or part real me  ???

Ok that's all I have - time to  :zzz:

I fear I was misunderstood. I need to think about this more. I didn't mean to dismiss.

schrödinger's cat

Lonewolf, that sounds plausible, what you said about it being a vicious circle. A bit like a depression: depression => lack of motivation => you end up sitting still a lot => sitting still can sometimes make your depression worse => lack of motivation... etc.

I'm not sure which came first, the dissociation or the fakeness, but moving towards what's real does make me feel more grounded and less dissociated.