Elpha's new adventure

[Elphanigh]

It went well everyone!  You were right there cheeeing me on.

Therapy was also huge today. I did what is called "the rage room". It is an imagery where you are in a room of your design and you can express anger in any form you need to withiut anyone seeing, knowing, or being hurt. It is a safe space to visualize getting all your anger out. Now this is done a minute at a time and then you pause and come back.

I feel like I could take on the world right now. Strong, powerful, and in control. Not in am agressive way, but in a peaceful, controlled, confident way. There was a literal physical shift in my body and demeanor in my session. Very noticeable. My T kept smiling at me, as she does when she knows I have had some huge realization or bug progress moment. Always note that I have shifted, that even my face looks different.

Anyways here's to protesting that Trump is in the city. Drinking white russians, eating tacos, and jumping a jenga block wall

[Deep Blue]

  I'm happy for you on so many levels.

[Blueberry]

Therapy was also huge today. I did what is called "the rage room". It is an imagery where you are in a room of your design and you can express anger in any form you need to withiut anyone seeing, knowing, or being hurt. It is a safe space to visualize getting all your anger out. Now this is done a minute at a time and then you pause and come back.

I don't know that exercise. It sounds really powerful and useful. Mbrs on here are always wondering what to do with their anger, though I'd be cautious about anybody trying it out on their own without a T at least the first time. Well, at least you have a method now!   

"I feel like I could take on the world right now. Strong, powerful, and in control. Not in am agressive way, but in a peaceful, controlled, confident way. There was a literal physical shift in my body and demeanor in my session. Very noticeable. "

Wow. I'm so happy for you. Sounds huuuuge. 

[Sceal]

  Amazing! Cheering you on, Elpha!  Hold on to that strength!

[sanmagic7]

it all sounds so great, sweetie.  i'm so happy for you.  that feeling of strength and power is absolutely the best.  so glad you're feeling it.  you so deserve it!

interesting concept, the rage room.  sounds like it did you a world of good.

and, forward!  lots of love and a big hug filled with continuation.  this is so cool!

[Elphanigh]

I love all the encouragement, thank you all for being here 

Blueberry, I feel like it would be useful to people but as powerful as it felt for me I would be hesitant about people doing it without a T at first. Mine told me I can use it on my own now because I did realease so much of the initial anger and we know it is safe for me. But I do wish it was something's others could use.

San, it is an intriguing concept. I am trying to remember who my T said came up with the concept and did all the research. It is a well thought out process, just not sure who the credit goes to there. It definitely did me a world of good. Helped release a lot of physical feelings connect to me anger. It was wonderful

[Sceal]

Very happy to hear that the rage-therapy helped you, and that you're feeling more powerful in your own right now. Its really wonderful to hear!
Hope that you'll carry that new strength with you.  

[Elphanigh]

Thanks , Sceal  I have been able to carry the strength with me. Even better has been my ability to remember was the lack of tension in my body felt like. I can recognize better when I am in my body and need to let it go some. It has been amazing to finally experience what it is like to not hold as much in my body.  That awareness has been long coming with my yoga, but to hav it in my trauma therapy as well is a game changer for me. Wraps them together for me.

Lots of progress being made.


Side note, I started my new job today. I start fully on Monday but got some training in today. Glad to have been started and see what a difference this should make from my last full time job. This office and job is mor up my alley and doesn't feel like it will put me into the space I was emotionally with the last one. Hopefully, this is s new chapter for me

[Deep Blue]

New chapter sounds great to me! 

[Elphanigh]

Thank you, I am truly hopeful for it. Now I am making plans to save up for my yoga training. It is what I am putting my mind to for the moment. I have been keeping up my daily practice (this makes such a large difference in my days) and am working on the money part of it. Hoping to be able to make plans with this new job. I am determined.

Anyways. I have had an interesting few days. Feeling just aware of everything, which has been a good change. I have had a lot of incoming stuff from my past but I have just been able to notice it and not get overwhelmed. I think this may mean I am ready to process some of the larger things. At least some layers of them. Therapy is on Wednesday this week, we will see what the first part of the week brings. I think tomorrow I will start a list of things that have been coming up so I have an idea what my subconscious is trying to look at.

[Deep Blue]

Hey Elpha,
I just wanted to see how your concussion is feeling. I've had a couple and find them disorienting on so many different levels.    if it is ok

Congrats to you for finding the strength to process some larger things! I think some layers is a great place to start. I also think seeing how the early week goes seems wise. You are awesome. 

[Elphanigh]

Deep Blue, it is so kind of you to check in! My concussion is doing so much better. I have moments of dizziness and some fogginess in my mind still but it isn't a constant anymore. My headaches have mostly stopped as well. Having been able 3 and a half weeks it is doing well.

I am so grateful for you. I hope you know that! 

[sanmagic7]

congrats on getting started on your new job, sweetie.  i hope it goes much more smoothly for you than the other one.  so glad you're out of there.

a new chapter.  exciting, maybe a little scary, exhilarating, at times.  another adventure, but more positive than before.  that sounds great.  keep up the good work.  it's amazing to see you moving forward, gaining strength and confidence.  what a difference a year makes!  love and hugs, el, always.

[Elphanigh]

San, I am glad to be out of there too. This new one feels more right but we will see what time brings. I am hopeful though.

The new chapter is exciting, and scary. It just feels like a major shift has happened in my life on so many different fronts. It is hard to ignore that it feels different and more positive for sure. It feels like this one will be very full of honoring myself and healing in ways I didn't need think were possible a year ago. Maybe that is too hopeful, but it is what it feels like I am headed towards.

It is crazy what a year will do for both of us. Thank you for always being here while I learn my way around all of this. Love you bunches 

[Sceal]

Wishing you a good day in your new job!