Elpha's new adventure

[Sceal]

Woah, intense! And so happy that you are safe, and that you feel it didn't affect you in the way you feared! 

[Elphanigh]

Thanks, Sceal 

Honestly I woke up super anxious and have continued with that all day. I think it is more caused by my job honestly. I think I will get less ancious about it, but in training it is so much.

[Deep Blue]

Wow, my heart raced for you while reading about what happened.  You are amazing. You are incredible.  You are strong.  So much love 

[Elphanigh]

Those affirmations were very well timed, thank you. Just got home from work and am feeling the symptoms for a full panic attack starting to set in. So not feeling strong or incredible at this moment, I haven't had a full one occur in quite a chunk of time. I am hoping to keep this one at bay. I have therapy tomorrow and will hopefully just hold out all of this until then.

Honestly I am not sure if it is just from work, or if it is last night plus the big realizations sitting in all at once. I have a lot of homework to do for work and need to have my wits about me to do it. 

[Deep Blue]

I'm so sorry. I haven't had a panic attack in a couple days, and that's good for me.
Sending you love and strength filled with understanding sweetie 

[Elphanigh]

Thank you dear.  I have started to come down. I am worried that trying to get stuff done tonight will aggravate it, but I need to try. I used to have them daily, but have gone several weeks which is such major improvement. I really appreciate the strength and understanding 

[Deep Blue]

I know that feeling... that feeling when you know one is coming. 

I wrote a poem about what mine feel like.  (Posted it on the forum too). Writing about them made me appreciate impermanence.  They suck... but they do pass. 

cuz I feel one coming tonight too. Hang in sweetie.

[Elphanigh]

I will definitely go read that when I am in a better space. I am very curious. Hang in there as well, we will both get past these 

[sanmagic7]

sending ems to embrace you, hold you, be with you since i can't.  know that i'm with you in spirit, always.  love and a warm, caring hug to you, sweetie.

[Elphanigh]

San, you ahve absolutely no idea how well timed that was. I am going to sit in her hug as well as yours tonight. Little elpha really needs that nurturing presence, and adult me is struggling to give it.  :hug:love you dear

[Elphanigh]

Yesterday's session was good but it has left me unsettled. A few hours into work, I finally feel like I can post about it a bit.

We were working on a memory that isn't super intense but is big for me. However, little elpha freaked out. The events on Sunday had seeped in to her and my session. It looks like adult me dissociated andbshe took on all of the emotions regarding the incident.

So need to nurture her while also trying to work 13 or 14 hours today.

[Deep Blue]

Hey little Elpha,
I'm sending you some   

When I hold my son, I put my arm around him, move the hair from his forehead and kiss him on it.  Sending you the same love sweetie 

[Elphanigh]

Deep Blue,

That is such a sweet gesture for your son. I greatly appreciate you sending the same love to me. Little Elpha really loves when people do mess with her hair, and that gentle sounding affection is a comfort to her. 

[sanmagic7]

    to both of you.  i love giving little kisses to those i care about.  sending some along to both of you, along with lots of love.

[Elphanigh]

  sending hugs to you both. Thank you for such compassion and warmth. I am always amazed