Remembered something today (TW: non graphic details)

[yogi]

So today I was doing a relaxation meditation. It was really relaxing and helpful but suddenly at the end, I woke up from dozing & remembered something new. From a long time ago. I am new to the forum and recently posted about some of the experiences I have had & whether they might be "bad enough" to cause c-ptsd. Anyway I just remembered something else. When I was in Year 11 (and I think the end of year 10 too) a 21 year old man "made friends" with me and my girlfriends. He used to take us out in his car, which impressed us as we weren't old enough to drive. He drove us to the beach and we got burgers and stuff. Anyway I thought he was my "friend" and gradually we spent more time alone in his car. I know he also spent time alone with another girl who was 14. I remember my mum saying he was a pedophile (yet she didn't stop me from going out in his car, just screamed this at me one day when I got home). Turns out I think she was right as I just remembered some stuff from those late night "drives" with him. Not full sexual intercourse but some other stuff. Maybe I was groomed? I'm not sure how old I was but I am thinking this happened from age 15-16. Maybe a "grey area" as the age of consent here is 16. Weird that I blocked this until now. I remember now how wrong and disgusting it felt at the time.

[Three Roses]

May I offer you a safe  ?

I've also had stuff come back to me. It's amazing what our brains and minds do to protect us.

I'm so sorry you went thru that.

[yogi]

Thank you Three Roses, safe hug appreciated.

[Dee]

There has been many times that I had just remembered things.  I have learned to take care of myself in those times.  To be gentle to myself, use my 5 senses, and do something that makes me feel good.  I have a really hard time not replaying it over and over.  I sometimes have got to distract myself so I can stop.