My SIS

Started by Badmemories, January 11, 2018, 09:01:08 AM

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Badmemories

Hi,
I had been No contact with My Sister for 2 years when I had a heart attack ( and almost died Feb 2016.) We decided to start socializing again shortly after that. It has been really bumpy from the start. Three Years before that an acquaintance of Ours Told My Sister that I had said My Sister was a child molester... ( I have never said, thought or dreamed this. My Sis responsibly babysat for MY kids from birth to whatever and ALSO babysat for My Grand Children.

The Acquaintance is a full-blown narcissist IMHO.  (undiagnosed) The Story has so many lies added to it. It has grown legs! The acquaintance had/has My Sister Gardening, cooking and cleaning, For Free. She will do whatever she can to control My Sis. No matter what Sis has not believed Me OR She gets settled down and Narc starts adding more believable lies. My Sis and I had been getting along (fairly, but strained) until Acquaintance started ADDING again to her lies. Sis cuts off contact and starts texting me all this crap that isn't true. Unfortunately, I had cut OFF AQ NARC many Years before because I saw how BAD she was. She can really Make the stories believable as were "Good" Freinds before I saw her without A MASK ON. AQ NARC really knows how to push Sis's buttons.

Many times when my Sis says dumb stuff, I tell her Well If You believe this You should cut me OFF or various other similar answers. For example, last Summer she told me that She thought I was trying to kill her. I told her that I thought that If She believed that She should cut OFF ALL contact with me. So, I say something once and refuse to go over and over things. I no longer borrow her money etc. Now She says I've changed...Well Yes, I think to Myself. I am learning to Not be manipulated By people. I am learning to stand-up for Myself. I will NEVER let You use me again.
Of course, this puts me in a depression.

After AQ NARC gets Sis riled up with more lies, Sis starts texting vile stuff.  She goes over and over past hurts shes had held against me, (many times her twisted veiw of how it happened) some for decades... I go through 3 weeks of No contact with her but these Vile texts. Previously, I had recognized during My work on Myself that People used Various threats, blaming, etc to manipulate me so I would cuddle all over them (even If I had really done nothing wrong) to control me.  I have learned to Not get into the Word Salads.  I always try to keep the conversations/ texts fair and Honest with My Sister. So, I say something once and refuse to go over and over things.

Yesterday, She calls me acting normal like nothing has happened, all friendly and sweet  :stars:
For a while now I have been wondering about split personalities. How common is that? as I am thinking about it It makes sense...

Feminine side...Sweet, cleaner dressed, artistic, funny...Male side. Messy caustic, defensive, mean, dressed Manish...She also talks about Ghosts destroying stuff in Her house, things getting misplaced and found places she would never put it. Things getting broke by ghosts.  I had been thinking She is delusional. She comes up with some great "Truths" that are way out there. Split personality does fit, however. I think the Male Personality is aggressive and breaks her stuff etc.

Does anybody know about split personalities and C-PTSD? It seems to fit many problems I've had with My Sis. I am recognizing when She gets into the boy role. Perhaps the "Boy" role is what she used to protect herself from the abuse both of us suffered.

I don't know any comments would be appreciated...I had so Much work to do to get this to make sense, My mind is quit scattered right now. ;)

 


Three Roses

 :hug:

Narcs can be so maddening! And it's very difficult to not get caught up in the madness they drag around with them, it's like the wake of a boat, rocking things behind them....

What used to be called "multiple personality disorder" is now called "dissociative identity disorder" and can most definitely be comorbid with CPTSD.

Dissociation is a defense mechanism to protect us from harsh realities we are not ready to see. Everyone dissociates to some degree, but they may not lose time or have multiple distinct personalities.

I hope you and your sister can work this out between just the two of you.