Family denial

[Nonetheless]

My much older brother and sister have always been pretty much in denial of our abusive childhoods which has caused me a lot of added difficulties in working on my c-ptsd. My abusive father died recently and my brother is in insisting on celebrating a wonderful man despite the fact that I often saw him beating my brother. I am finding this really hard to cope with.

[Dee]

Welcome,

I have had the same issue with my sister.  Sometimes she has moments of clarity, most of the time she is in strict denial.  My dad died earlier this year.  It was easier for me, he was a person with no family and no friends.

The one thing that helped me is I wrote a letter to him.  It was a structured grief letter.  What I like about you, what I didn't like, what I wish was different.  There was a section for what I forgive, but I skipped that.  It helped me deal with his funeral a little more because I had the truth in my hand.  I ended up giving mine to the funeral director to be cremated with him.  I let my sister have her day of denial.

[Blueberry]

Welcome Nonetheless!

I'm sorry about what you're going through atm. It's common unfortunately for family members, including those who were abused too, to be in denial. All the best with it.

[MyPrison1965]

Same issues here with my father, he is still alive and will pass soon, older brother has been a aggressive little __________ to say were are a family. I chose to walk away from my father over 20 years ago and not to go too far out of my way for him since and he could not put the pieces together of why I did that, I thought it was very clear. My brother was there to fill the slot to have him think he is the greatest son in the world and tries to bully me into doing the same, I will not. My father was rarely ever there for me growing up and most of that time was drunk and violent. My siblings live in denial too and we all have different ways of dealing with our lives, I wanted to try to have a  relationship years ago and  to have decent and civil adult behavior between us,  but too many differences that made it not to be.