"Healing The Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by Janina Fisher

[Hope67]

Hi everyone,
Thanks to the recommendation by WhoBuddy, I have bought this book, and it's arrived today.  I am excited about this, as I am looking forward to reading it, and I suggested to WhoBuddy that I'd open a thread to enable us to discuss the book, and I know that WhoBuddy has some contributions to make, and I also hope that anyone else reading it will pop by, as well as anyone who relates to the thread.  I'm not sure when I'll start reading it, but hopefully soon.
Hope 

[Hope67]

I'm not planning to read much more today, but I read the first page, which is only the 'Acknowledgements' page, and I am already relating and even more excited to read this book, and I'll just quote what Janina Fisher wrote there:

"The inspiration behind the ideas presented in this book comes directly from my patients who, over the years, taught me everything I understand today about the impact of trauma from "inside the volcano."  They helped me to understand the experience of living with the enduring threat of annihilation, of hating themselves when they could not risk hating those who harmed them.  They helped me to see that the deepest pain of all is connected to the failure of those they loved to cherish them and, for that reason, provide them safety and care.  No arms reached out to break their fall, dry their tears, or comfort the ache of loneliness.  There was no balm for the shame.  When I finally understood that, to find peace, they needed a way to love the wounded children inside them, an insight came to me: it is the quality of our internal attachments that determines how safe we feel "inside", how easy or difficult it is to be "me".  When we ignore, despite, or disown our littlest selves, we can't help but feel their pain: once again, they are not welcome.  And when we learn how to offer them and ourselves an unconditionally "loving presence," wounds can heal and hope is renewed."

My reflections on that - I think it's going to be a book that is well written and well researched/informed - I already relate to what Janina says here.  I am hopeful that the book will be helpful.

Just wanted to share my first impressions and also that paragraph.

Hope 

[Three Roses]

Thanks! Will be checking on this one for sure.

[Fen Starshimmer]

Thanks for bringing this book to our attention Hope. I like the sound of it, and have already looked it up on Amazon. Everyone's giving it 5 stars and raving about it, even therapists.
I want to read it too. It's quite pricey though for a paperback.

[Hope67]

Hi Fen Starshimmer,
I really hope you can read it too - I know it's expensive - but maybe ask your local library if they'll order it for you?  That might be a way to get it without having to spend money.  Some libraries will ask for a nominal fee - like a pound (or equivalent in dollars) - not sure where you're based, but they will often order a book.  I was extra excited and wanted to order mine, and I am very happy that I did.  It really looks like a good book.  The author has worked with many experts in Trauma - and I like the way she writes so far.  I've not read much of it yet, but WhoBuddy has read it all and was very enthusiastic, and I can understand why.
Hope 

[Hope67]

Hi Three Roses - I meant to also say 'Hi' to you, and I'm glad you're interested in this.   
Hope 

[Fen Starshimmer]

Hi Hope,
I just checked to find out whether my library stocks this book, and unfortunately they don't. I will pay a visit and find out whether they can order a copy for me. That sounds like a good plan.

I'm interested to learn as much as I can about trauma. It helps to be as well informed as possible on the healing journey. Self-education can be very healing, as 'things' (the inner struggle) start to make sense. Self-blame and the inner critic fall away, as do anger, grief etc... there is still some, but it's not as powerful. You start to see everything in a new light.  That's how it's been for me anyway. I've been doing other complementary healing work too...  It's a big project this recovery process!   

[Fen Starshimmer]

Hope,
I just called my library and they have ordered the book for me. I was amazed at how easy it was... I will just have to pay £1.50 for placing the order.

I should receive it in a matter of weeks rather than months, they said. Can't wait to read it!  Then I will be able to discuss it with you on here. 

[Hope67]

Hi FenStarshimmer,
I am really happy to hear you've been able to order the book from the library, and it's good value at £1.50 for the order.  Great that you will be popping in here to discuss it.

Just to say that already, even though I've only read a very short amount of the book (i.e. the Acknowledgements sections so far) - I am excited - and I hope to read more soon.  But I am pacing myself, as I've had a few things going on this week.  But I am relieved to have the book - and I'm glad you're going to be reading it soon as well.   

Hope 

[DecimalRocket]

Hi there Hope. I'm considering checking this book out, but I'm hesitating since I have a limited allowance for the books I read and want to choose well. Would you mind if you can tell me why you think it's a good choice?

[Hope67]

Hi Decimal Rocket,

The book was first recommended to me by WhoBuddy.  Then I looked it up on Amazon and read the 'feedback' and it looked really well rated.  That was why I decided to buy it, and now I've got it, I have so far just read the Acknowledgements page and also part of the Introduction, and I particularly like the fact that Janina Fisher has been mentored and worked with Bessel Van der Kolk, and she has also worked at Bessel van der Kolk's Trauma Centre since 1996, and Pat Ogden's Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute (since 2003). 

I will quote a couple of things she wrote: e.g. p7 of introductions she says "I will be integrating a theoretical understanding of trauma, dissociation, neurobiology, and attachment with a practical, "hand's on" approach to the treatment of these issues that is intended to be accessible to both client and therapist".

I like the way she writes, and I feel that she 'get's it' - I am impressed so far. 

But maybe do some research around, Decimal Rocket - because there are many books out there, and I know your budget is limited.  But maybe consider ordering it from the library - as some libraries will be happy to order it for you for a nominal fee - and it would be a cheaper option.

If you do  get it, then this thread is here - for your reflections, if you want to use it - I opened it to reflect and share my experiences of the book, and hope others will also do that, if they want to. 

Hope 

[Whobuddy]

Hi there Hope. I'm considering checking this book out, but I'm hesitating since I have a limited allowance for the books I read and want to choose well. Would you mind if you can tell me why you think it's a good choice?

I hope you don't mind if I answer your question, too. The book helped me because it helped me discover my 'inner adult' which I had thought was absent most of the time. The author describes the 'part' that 'goes on with normal life' like paying bills, going to work, going to appointments, etc. as being our adult self. It took some time for me to accept this and recognize that this is me as an adult because I have always had the gnawing feeling that this part of me was fake. But her book gave me the nudge to explore this idea and to view my wounded 'parts' as separate from my adult self. And my adult  self can offer comfort to my other parts in a way that no one else can because I know what they have been through.

This has helped me in many ways, one is that I have experienced fewer EFs than I used to. Also, when I have an EF, I can usually figure out which part is hurting and I use that knowledge to inform some helpful self-talk.

I know this may not be precisely what the author is promoting. I look forward to hearing what others get out of the book.

[Hope67]

But her book gave me the nudge to explore this idea and to view my wounded 'parts' as separate from my adult self. And my adult  self can offer comfort to my other parts in a way that no one else can because I know what they have been through.

This has helped me in many ways, one is that I have experienced fewer EFs than I used to. Also, when I have an EF, I can usually figure out which part is hurting and I use that knowledge to inform some helpful self-talk.

I know this may not be precisely what the author is promoting. I look forward to hearing what others get out of the book.

Hi WhoBuddy,
I am glad you said that, because it's really helped me already - just saying what you said about what the book meant to you, and what you've taken away from it. 

I've been struggling a bit this week - but at the same time, I feel I'm getting closer to different wounded parts of me, and experiencing the feelings - and that's causing me to feel more 'raw' and 'exposed' - but I feel sure it's on a path to enabling me to reach out to those parts and those feelings, and I'm hoping that my 'adult self' can be empathic and caring to the wounded parts.

I really do feel 'hope' about the book - but I find myself going very slowly - i.e. some books I would read very quickly, but this one - I'm finding I read a couple of paragraphs and then do something else, etc.

Interesting.

Hope 

[Whobuddy]

I really do feel 'hope' about the book - but I find myself going very slowly - i.e. some books I would read very quickly, but this one - I'm finding I read a couple of paragraphs and then do something else, etc.
Hope 

I am thankful you are setting a slow pace for this. I often put too much pressure on myself to do things faster than I am comfortable with. One of my many cptsd symptoms. 

[Hope67]

Hi WhoBuddy,
I completely understand the pressure sometimes to do things faster than you might be comfortable with - I recognise that tendency in myself too - but it's good to know we 'can' set our own pace, do things in our own time, and that all the threads are here for when we feel up to share something, and again, if we don't want to share something - that's ok too.  I like the fact we can choose what to share and not share.  I think it's liberating - my FOO tried to stifle my choices, and 'tell me what to do' - and I am thankful that now I'm NC with them, I can 'be my own person' - and finding out 'who' I am as a person - alongside understanding the wounded parts of me - recognising my 'inner children' and hopefully 'giving them some care and love' - which I feel they were vastly deprived of - it's how I think I will hopefully heal all the parts of me, and maybe 'integrate' - I guess I'm just sharing my hopes for how things might turn out - and I do think that Janina's book, plus all the amazing support here in the forum, from great people like you and everyone else - I think together we can hopefully achieve what we would like to - in our own time, and allowing ourselves time to process.

But at the same time, I recognise for myself, that I mustn't put any pressure on myself either - therefore I'll do whatever I can on any one day, and maybe another day, I won't be able to do anything, but that's ok.   

Hope