Guilt about moving out?

[LittleBirdy]

For the past month I have been away from my FOO and in a dorm and I have been doing GREAT. It's actually amazing how many of my health problems have vanished now that I am not so stressed all the time. The thought of going home for the summer has been haunting me and I've been looking for local apartments, but something in the back of my mind I feel guilty. I know I shouldn't and that I'm an adult and deserve to be happy and healthy but there's just that lingering guilt of abandoning my FOO you know?

[Slackjaw99]

Sounds like you already know the answer to your question. You are worried about offending your FOO when they've repeatedly offended you. But you moved away for a few months, and your trauma symptoms improved. You inadvertently created a temporary *BOUNDARY*.  Why not keep that going and gain even more health?

[Three Roses]

Healthy parents encourage their children to leave and experience independence, and will be a back-up plan should their kids need one. They do this no matter how sad they are to see them go because they know it's in their child's best interest. Sick parents want to keep children dependent on them in one way or another.

Healthy parents are not offended by the natural change in their relationships with their kids because they know it's part of the natural progression. Sick parents are offended and threatened by perceived "abandonment".

If a young adult has sick parents, it is in their best interest to distance themselves from the sick system and to pursue health and contentment for themselves.

I hope you find these comments helpful.

[Blueberry]

For the past month I have been away from my FOO and in a dorm and I have been doing GREAT. It's actually amazing how many of my health problems have vanished now that I am not so stressed all the time.

 

oh, yes, the lingering guilt. Knowingly or not, our FOOs condition us to feel guilt.

You do deserve to be happy and healthy  (I wish I really believed that for myself. It's easier to believe it for you.)