Courageous Introduction

[schrödinger's cat]

GraciousJoy, my kid has something that I'm not sure how to translate into English, that's the thing. Some translation sites say "dyscalculia", others say "maths deficiency". So it's not like a real dyscalculia. Sorry if I was misleading. From what I read (correct me if I'm wrong), a real, proper dyscalculia stays with you for the rest of your life. You can find workarounds and coping methods, but it's nothing you can just go and fix. That's what makes your story tragic. There was nothing you could do to change this, yet people kept demanding just that of you. The irresistible force met the immovable object, and you were caught in the middle.

[Milarepa]

Thanks Milarepa.  I've tried seeing a therapist, but I felt like she wasn't the right fit for my unique experiences, even though we had the same goals and she was open enough to talk to.  I also tried contacting a local therapist, but he never called me back. 

I'm not sure what to do next, as I want to get better, but have no idea how to get started.

Initiative and follow-through are really hard when you're suffering from PTSD because the pre-frontal cortex is responsible for those functions and it's rarely if ever online until you've done some real recovery work. Find a way to make yourself be persistent in finding a therapist who will work for and with you. Don't let someone not calling you back derail the entire effort.

[Kizzie]

LOL, you are too funny GJ!  Nope definitely no yelling or butt kicking or any of that kind of abuse    I just want to make sure members' privacy and confidentiality are protected thus the guidelines for journalists and authors. That said, I am all for therapeutic writing!   

[Anamiame]

Hi Gracious!
People suffer all different types of trauma...one type of trauma or another doesn't have a 'corner market', but instead, it covers trauma...repeated or ongoing trauma.  I enjoyed reading your story and it sounds to me that your trauma is...well...quite complex.  It wasn't just parents or peers; but also an ongoing heightened awareness of judgement on you for having a disability.  I personally think that by definition, you probably belong here even more than me! 

Everyone experiences trauma differently.  Healing is unique for everyone because no two experiences are the same. 

Also, my son has disgraphia and although people don't know what it is, it wreaked havoc on his education and I can never forget the pain in his voice when he realized it would never go away.  (He can't spell his way out of a paper bag).  It has traumatized him...there's no doubt about that. 

Also, I got a finger wagging on a site and my post taken down for posting about my foster dog.  They thought I was advertising dogs for sale!  True to form, it hurt my feelings deeply--rejection always does.  So you aren't alone with being gun-shy! 

I look forward to hearing more about you and your process!