Infantilising?

Started by songbirdrosa, March 04, 2018, 03:18:55 PM

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songbirdrosa

For as long as I can remember, my mother has called me things like "girlie" and "child" as a nickname. Not to be deliberately malicious or derogatory as far as I can tell, because it's not something she does to only me. She calls my brothers "boyo" as well as "child" too. For clarification, I'm 27 and my brothers are 34 and 31 respectively.

I didn't used to think anything of it, until she said it in front of my aunt one day and my aunt got rather offended on my behalf. She thought it was rather disrespectful to say it to a grown adult. Now I'm not really sure what to think about it all.

Any thoughts?

Dee


I often call my adult children "kid."  They are 17 and 20, but they are my kids and always will be.  Sometimes I call my 20 year old and open with "hey kid, what's up."  I don't mean anything by it.  I feel it has more to do with how it is implied and how it is received.  I mean nothing by it, probably a long habit.  I have also occasionally joked and called my kids "brat."  It is a joke and well received.  They laugh and I laugh.  However, it is said in a spirit of understanding and fun.  It would be very different if I was angry and called them a brat.  It would also be different if I meant kid as derogatory, as if they were immature and unequal. 

I once joked to a friend I had to go home to attend to the "brats."  She got upset at me and said never to call my kids that.  I went home and asked them about how it made them feel.  They said that when I say it, and what it is relating to is funny.  They also said they would hate for me to change my sarcasm, because it is part of me.  However, when my mother has made comments such as this, it isn't funny, it is intended to be an insult. 

songbirdrosa

Thanks Dee, that's definitely helped clarify the situation for me. I don't really mind her doing it, to me it's just a nickname. I guess my aunt just thinks a bit differently.