Sort of a bittersweet success

[Rainydaze]

Back when I was 16 I had an appointment with a genetic counsellor regarding the possibility of there being hereditary cancer in my family. My mum had died from it at the age of 51 and my grandmother had the same type of cancer which she also died of. The advice at the time was to seek further advice in my mid to late twenties (little bit past that now - I put off thinking about it!) with a view that there would be greater understanding and more research undertaken to give me more up to date advice.

So this has been on my mind for about 14 years, even more so in the few months since I hit 30, and I finally plucked up the courage today to see my doctor with a copy of this original letter and to see where to go from here. She is seeking further advice on my behalf and has also referred me for a blood test to see if that flags anything up. I'm a bit scared as I do get symptoms of this cancer which could so easily be confused with irritable bowel syndrome, plus CPTSD of course which is mentally and physically exhausting. I am marking this down as a big success in all and I'm proud of myself for being brave and confronting this. In the run up to this appointment I've been practising yoga, taking time out to rest when I need to and speaking kindly to my inner child when I've felt anxious. I was very nervous speaking to my doctor but kept slow breathing and I think I handled it really well. When the inner critic was telling me I shouldn't bother doing this and that I'd be wasting people's time I told Negative Norbert (he has a name now  ) that I deserve to look out for myself and that I have as much right as anyone to get checked out.

I think I did alright. Now going to walk my lovely little dog and chill out for the rest of the day. 

[Dee]

Good for you.  Also, a great inspiration for self care!

[Rainydaze]

Thanks Dee, yeah I guess it is.