Nightmares

[schrödinger's cat]

Do you think that could be about your recovery? You don't quite feel like the owner of this house yet, but you're the caretaker and so you've got a right to be there. It's full of beautiful things, some of which are broken, but they're being mended. You don't yet feel like you're entitled to just take the things, but you get to look at them and you get to touch them, and you know they're there. And it's a mansion, not a chickenshed. I don't know, maybe it's about something else, but it would make a very beautiful metaphor for recovery.

[Badmemories]

Hey that is great! I love it... see it is so much easier sometimes for someone else to hear/see it! I thought it was so weird that i didn't want to even write it! Thank You for Your insight!

[Butterfly]

Really neat stuff all the dreams and meanings.

So I asked the therapist at our first appointment why after a year of setting boundaries and standing up for myself are nightmares escalating? Because it would make more sense to me in the beginning when it was scarier I'd have had more dreams then, so why now?

She said its my conditioned response. Growing up and in adulthood there were ramifications to not doing as others pleased, there was a price to pay for making my own choices and having my own feelings. She said my subconscious is still waiting for the punishment.

So my work is to practice deep breathing daily even when not in EF mode to slow the heart rate and train my body how to do this always. Also, mindfulness and grounding, saying to myself when I wake from a nightmare 'where am I really and what is going on' so my brain quickly realizes I'm safe in bed and not in danger.

Last night I tried going med free and it wasn't the most restful sleep but I didn't have nightmare. Every time I woke I practiced deep breathing and grounding, even running my hand around the sheets.

[schrödinger's cat]

So my work is to practice deep breathing daily even when not in EF mode to slow the heart rate and train my body how to do this always. Also, mindfulness and grounding... .

Thanks for sharing that, it sounds like a really useful way of making oneself less antsy. And this "waiting for punishment"... do you know, I've always wondered why I sometimes feel so depressed plus alarmed, have no motivation to do anything, and do a lot of safety-seeking things.  Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Of course.

[Butterfly]

So glad it helped you, that tip alone for me was worth the effort to go and the fact that it was also good for you guys makes is all the more valuable a session to me!

So far two nights no nightmares, when I've woken I've tried very deep slow breathing, feeling the sheets, even laying on my stomach to get the most "feel" of where I am. I picked two phrases to remind me of my current freedom and peace, they're scripture but she said to pick anything as a personal mantra on freedom.

I've actually done this throughout the day whenever I think of it and wherever I am, just a few long slow deep breaths and thinking of peace and it really helps me through the day too.

[schrödinger's cat]

Glad to hear about your nightmare-free nights!

So this is essentially a way to ground yourself in the here and now? It sounds interesting. Maybe I'll give it a try. After all, if EFs keep on de-grounding me and flinging me back into the past, it would make sense to pull myself the other way regularly. Like building a muscle.

[Badmemories]

@ S Cat...

I am a pretty honest person and during the dream I wanted to take some of the jewelry... but Of course My morals even wouldn't let me take it even in MY dreams! Next time I have a dream about this house I am going to steal all the pretty things I can... Maybe My healing will go faster! 
Keep on Keeping On!

[Butterfly]

Yes she said like retraining the body and spirit to respond as I wish instead of what I've been trained.

[schrödinger's cat]

I started doing that, too, and it's helping. So thanks again for sharing this.     

[Butterfly]

Just wanted to pop back into this post with a quick update. The other day I woke up fine but shortly afterwards started processing some thoughts and the tears started. But the good thing is maybe I'm moving toward processing in the conscious rather than the subconscious since I hadn't had a nightmare but it was a conscious thoughtful process.

The other thing is the past few days I had quite funny dreams, the kind of dreams that make you wake up giggling. So I started to write these down so I remember and can smile rather than be fearful of sleeping.

[keepfighting]

Just wanted to pop back into this post with a quick update. The other day I woke up fine but shortly afterwards started processing some thoughts and the tears started. But the good thing is maybe I'm moving toward processing in the conscious rather than the subconscious since I hadn't had a nightmare but it was a conscious thoughtful process.

The other thing is the past few days I had quite funny dreams, the kind of dreams that make you wake up giggling. So I started to write these down so I remember and can smile rather than be fearful of sleeping.

That is so great, Butterfly! Wonderful idea to write down the fun dreams  .

I am so glad you are no longer fearful of sleeping! That makes just all the difference, doesn't it?

Of course I am no expert but I really do believe that dealing with your issues while conscious reduces the nightmares because your subconscious doesn't have to pick up the pieces any more (so funny that your subconscious is now providing your with light and bubbly dreams instead  ).

Here's to many more nice dreams!

[Butterfly]

I'm still taking the sleep meds though because I need to get in my feet physically and can't take the change right now of falling to pieces again. Just now starting to feel bit better but the monitoring I have to do is ridiculous. Hey whatever it takes, right?

[Butterfly]

Ack. Another nightmare but again I was vocal whisper screaming 'you have no right' and I have a question about EMF - electromagnetic fields. Creating another post maybe.

[Rain]

Hi Butterfly, have you considered hypnosis with a clinical professional?   Sorry about your nightmares!   

[Butterfly]

The nightmare so directly connected to my abuse issue there's no mistaking what they're about. Hypnosis probably isn't going to help me but I like the other suggestions you have in the other thread. Thank you so much.