Truth, CPTSD symptoms and socialisation

[fullofsoundandfury]

 

In my head, it feels like puzzle pieces are beginning to drift together across vast oceans.

So.

Stimuli happens. Trigger. Stress response. The stress response is the truth: I don't like this. The socialised part says: NO. I'm not allowed to feel that, say that, act on that, be that, have that, want that. The socialised part rejects the inner truth. The person attempts to live a life divorced from the inner truth. Comorbid symptoms emerge.

This would only be relevant where the habituated stress response was flight, freeze or fawn. Fighters don't have this as badly. Fighters act out their truth quickly.

I think it's compounded by all the inner rejection we have.

This must be why assertive communication skills are a big part of Pete Walker's therapy approach with some people.

Let me know if this makes sense to anyone....

I feel like my relapse thing has put me back in touch with my authentic self in some ways. Not that the terror feelings are my authentic self, but that they point, loudly, to things I am not OK with, and they are right.

[Rainagain]

So,
Ignoring what the stress response is asking you to do in order to stay within the social norms causes inner conflict?

Sounds like a description of dissociation, or at least its cause.

Assertive communication sounds like a way to reduce the stimuli, or at least try to control it, like a filter.

Another control/filter might be finding a place where you feel safe, going no contact, things like that which give you control.

Makes me wonder what having control would look like, maybe its both connecting how we feel with how we act as well as assertively rejecting the things we don't want when they are presented.

Providing correct feedback to unwanted things is normal and healthy, kids won't play with other kids who won't play nicely, its a basic control measure.

Maybe a situation where our feedback had been ignored or overwhelmed is where the problems start. And trying to regain the normal connection between ourselves and others is really all about restoring the power of our feedback, or establishing it for the first time, depending on what has happened to us.

That feels true to me, recovery is restoring or implementing the power of our feedback.

But I'm very stressed and sleep deprived so maybe I'm off the mark.

Having a fight response might be helpful in the feedback empowering process. It could be nearer assertiveness than being passive so is slightly more helpful.

Maybe this forum helps us empower each others feedback a little.

[sanmagic7]

fosaf, i connected with what you said.  i've gone thru a rough patch for a couple of years, lots of triggers and stress responses that also didn't feel like my true self.  suddenly, in the past 2 weeks or so, there has been a shift. 

i'm feeling more like my old self but with broader perspectives and knowledge base from which to function.  my spirit feels renewed and i'm ready to work again.  i've had to sit passively for a long time, allowing myself to be sick and barely functional, but i think it was the time i needed to reach the place where i'm at now.  this does feel like truth again.

when i was in 12-step programs, i heard many people say they were glad for their experience, their pain and suffering, because it ultimately brought them to a better life.  i think i'm feeling like that now.  i couldn't be the person i am without my history, as painful as it has been.

i love the way you express yourself.  i'm glad you're finding your new you all over again.  big hug.