New day, new phase

[jamesG.1]

so....

Off the meds.

Roller coaster but well worth it. First conclusion... I'm sick. Yes the emotional side is becoming less of an issue but the fatigue and brain fog is still there and is gonna be there for a while, or at least until I give it time to properly settle. So, welfare. I'm gonna try and gt cover for a few months so I can dith the current triggering work, do my writing at my own speed and take the knife edge economics out of the picture. In the UK we have something caled PIP, personal independence payments. This is a non-means tested benefit for serious disability and right jow it's being pitched for mental health issues. UK folks, take note. This can be used to pay for counselling... just saying.

https://www.gov.uk/pip/how-to-claim

In addition, I am going to look at something called working tax credits. This is designed to cover you as you lean back into work after interruption and it's probably a good idea.

This comes after a real battle with myself about how much recovery I was capable of. As we often say, C-PTSD is an injury, not an illness. It's also not depression. It's of a way greater magnitude than that. So, accept it. Take help, stop struggling.

We've been grievously hurt, emotionally and physically. The people who knowingly and unknowingly assaulted us have left us winded, knocked over and in need of help. Ignore them when they claim we are lying, emotional, exaggerating or we brought it on ourselves. If life is a football game, we have just been fouled violently and the player responsible is trying to claim we have made it up even though 200,000 people in the stadium and 20 million people watching TV have just seen it happen. Gaslighting... sign of the times.

Life is a battlefield. Shopit for the Coprpsman, yell for the medic, scream for the stretcher bearer. That's what they are for. You tried to do your bit, but you caught one. You are out of the fight. o now you deserve clean white sheets and an attractive nurse (yes, both genders) and all the jello and ide cream you can eat. You fought a good fight in a bad battle. You fought clean while others fought so dirty you'd have to scrub their souls with a wire brush and super strength bleach for months on end just to dampen the smell.

What I'm saying is... take the help. Forget anyone else's judgement on this. This is between you and the health professionals and anyone else who has a spine and a backbone worth bothering with. Take help. Take it all.

Anyone in the UK wanting more info on what happens let me know and I'll keep you in the loop.

Don't suffer if you don't have to folks.

Please.

[Estella]

Hiya jamesG,

Just wanted to say thanks for your post because I'd recently considered cancelling my PIP but there's no way I'm well enough to survive without it yet, without therapy and the ability to buy the right food to cope with my eating disorder. Not everyone involved in my care understands my eating disorder and I felt pressured to cancel it. I was thinking "if I had another assessment based on my abilities today, I wouldn't get PIP". But then my illness fluctuates, that's just the nature of it. So after considering life without pip and having a really stressful time of it, considering keeping it for now. I'm not better, haven't even committed to therapy yet, so need it for that.

So yeah, thanks for reminding me how much I need therapy and not on the NHS.

[jamesG.1]

yes, the whole thing is highly variable. I've had a bad few days, but the week before was really positive.

We have to see it as a series of peaks and troughs, and it's very easy to feel the doubt from people even if it isn't there. I was really struck by my doctor last friday. She seemed to take my situation way more serious than I do, and that's PRETTY serious.

PTSD is a pig, it's a very serious medical condition and rational smart people get it. Never mind all the "too tough for mental issues" brigade, they haven't had the same conditions or the same tests we have. Everyone is too strong for like until life decides otherwise.

Hang on there with PIP until you KNOW you don't need it. Stopping help before time is a backwards step.

x

[Estella]

  agreed