Cutting them out

Started by Cyd, April 11, 2018, 10:40:16 PM

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Cyd

So today I told my parents(I want to call them something else, saying that makes me so uncomfortable) that I need to not have any contact with them at the moment.

I didn't quite want to do it now, but M as usual forced my hand.

They were due to stay in a few weeks. Not to visit, just as we're a convenient stop on their way to somewhere else(2nd time they've done this, and they never visit to just visit).

I've been so angry with them since realising I have cptsd. My emotions are all over the place. So my wife was not sure it was a good idea they stayed (me either). I told them this today and the conversation got forced round to what's going on.

And now I don't have to have any contact with them for at least a few months. Honestly right now I want to cut them out of my life completely.

I feel a sense of relief, combined with gut wrenching fear and shame from the child inside who is still scared and obtusely loyal.

woodsgnome

It's a rough ride no matter how the individual twists and turns go. I'm way out of your loop, but feel the pain in every word you've uttered in this post.

What I want to do the most is to assure you of support for your decision. Within this format, this is the best I can do:  :hug:   :grouphug:   :hug: It isn't sufficient, and how could it be dealing with this sort of mental fragility?

I just wanted to offer it to you with best wishes as you seek the peace you deserve about all this.

DecimalRocket

It sounded crazy to me to believe that my parents weren't there for me as a child, and it still does at times. But we'll be here to support you, and allow you to trust yourself.

:hug: if that's okay.

sanmagic7

well done - sounds like self-care to me, which one never needs to feel ashamed or guilty about.  doing what's best for you is a big step on the road to healing. 

it is painful, of course it is.  the worst i've ever felt is when i went nc with my daughter.  wrenched my already shredded heart.  as time has passed, tho, i know it was the right thing to do because i feel better on the whole without her in my life. 

'cutting them out' about sums it up.  like the surgeon's knife cutting out a tumor.  painful, but we can't heal with the tumor continuing to grow and hurt us.  big hug to you, cyd.

Checkach

I understand, Cyd. I am newly diagnosed with cptsd and have gone LC with my parents. I don't want to see them for the holidays, but I'm sure my grown kids will spend time with them.  It's confusing but also a relief. And who knows what will happen in the future.