Re: Kidnapping and Abuse (Trigger Warning)

[@SnakeBait]

I was kidnapped by false pretenses when  I was involved with a malignant narc or p-path. He used various means to arrange multiple "chance" encounters between me and others. They were always terrifying or embarrassing, and he liked to watch or listen in electronically while I was being gaslighted, drugged, physically threatened or assaulted, or engaged in coerced sexual behavior. I had no idea it was all set up until putting the pieces together later. 

One of his last acts following the final discard was to both telegraph to police and me in advance that he was going to be sure I was committed by the police, followed just a month later with my actual commitment by the very same police officer who came when I called to report that threat and a threat to kneecap me if I left my house. (The way he got me commuted was to stage a home invasion burglary that would bring the police to me. It's complicated, too much to describe here.)

I am still struggling two years later to understand how anyone, even someone as brilliant as he, could so confidently and successfully pull off this well-planned, multi-year scheme to destroy me, put me in the hospital and destroy my physical and mental health, ruinously end my friendships, damage irreparably my relationship with my octogenarian narcissistic mother such that I was disinherited and her health collapsed, empty my bank accounts, destroy my home of 25 years, etc., etc. His unholy operation, which involved alternately treating me like a king and belittling and degrading me, was a total success.  I am completely alone other than my weekly sessions with a therapist, who, frankly, I engaged on this narcissist's recommendation. She's  practically the only person in all this who has not revealed herself in some way to be a pawn of or associated with the narcissist/psychopath who I allowed to do so many awful things to me. On the other hand, she stood by watching as things unfolded play by play over several years, and then she didn't help at all when the cop put me in the psych ward. The psychiatrist there diagnosed me as delusional and kept me heavily sedated for 10 days before he would release me to my mother. It sure would have been nice if my therapist who I saw while these things were being done to me had just talked to the psychiatrist once to say, "Yes. These things really did happen."

What I need more than anything now is to change therapists to someone who specializes in trauma and narc victim syndrome, somebody who will be more proactive and, unlike my current therapist, not dissuade me in my desire to find an abuse survivors support group. I feel like an alien and think a group would help get past that.

Unfortunately, I do remain obsessed by flashbacks and thoughts of the narc who ruined my life.  (I think it's hardly surprising given I pushed out the last of his craven followers only about six months ago, and did battle with him over stolen property up until just last month. I'm still piecing together what happened, mostly by journaling.)

I've been in a flight or fight response mode for too long. I had heart failure in the middle of everything and am afraid I'll actually die before I get back to being a functioning human. So I'm hoping this site...this community...will help until I do succeed in finding a new therapist and a local support group.

[Rainagain]

Snakebait

I'm glad you found your way here, I hope this place helps.

What you describe sounds unbelievable, I believe you.

What you describe sounds enormously damaging, almost extravagantly so. My experiences are also like that, like a really bad film script.

New therapist sounds like a good plan, I wish you well.

[Kizzie]

Welcome to OOTS SnakeBait, I hope after all you've been through you do find a therapist who does is trained in and experienced with the type  of ongoing trauma you've endured.  I'm sure living in a large city you will also be able to find some good face-to-face groups for support and information.  In the meantime,  I hope you find some support and helpful info here. 

Kizzie

[Three Roses]

Welcome! I hope you find the support you need here, as well as information and camaraderie. It's a great, supportive community.

Have you heard of Richard Grannon? He has a YouTube channel full of videos about recovering from N abuse.

[Deep Blue]

Snake bait,
I relate to you.  My abuser sounds very similar to yours.  Very intelligent and even better at fooling others about who they were.  A professional gas lighter!  Welcome to the forum.  I hope you find that the people here very much here for one another.  Best wishes to you. 

[California Dreaming]

Welcome to OOTS Snake Bait. I am perplexed by why your therapist would "dissuade [you] in [your] desire to find an abuse survivors support group." Abuse survivors so often need the support of other survivors through their healing journey. Considering that you are "completely alone other than [your] weekly sessions with a therapist," you have shown a GREAT deal of courage in reaching out for support. Along with the others who have welcomed you, I hope that you find support here.

[Sceal]

 
Welcome to the forum!
You've been through a lot, I hope that in the time to come that you'll get some peace, and will be able to start healing - and eventually find friends who aren't abusive.