How do I cope with constant sexual reactivity/hypersexuality? ****BIG TW****

[nanajosh]

So to start this off (My first post no less) I've dealt with this for many, many years. I've talked to consolers and psychiatrists about his issue and I haven't found much help with this specifically. I'm still getting help for my diagnosed PTSD (un-diagnosed C-PTSD)

To start off I was exposed to sexual content at a very young age. I was about 6 or 7 when I first seen porn and 8 or 9 when something actually happened with my abusive brother. Don't really want to get to into that right now. Lets just say it ended with him R**ing me. I got into some weird porn (nothing illegal just highly questionable) and I was 9 when I started to masturbate. When my mom found out things were more or less swept under the family rug and he was grounded for like a week. I still felt like I was in trouble. Should would even get mad at me if I was caught masturbating. She would then shame me, then later forget anything happened at all. I honestly think she has BPD or something.

I'm 26 now and still have issues with hypersexuality and masturbation in general. I look at less questionable martial now (mostly anime) after scaring myself in my teens with some really heavy R*** themed stuff. It actually helped me to draw a hard line for myself. The thing is my mind still goes to sex more often than not. I sometimes fantasize having one night stands or wish I could find a FWB or a relationship just for sex. The big issue is when ever I climax I almost feel like a child again (as * up as that is) and it lingers for days. Apathy then sinks and I don't want to do anything for a few days other than sleep or masturbate some more. I can still chose not to do it which helps but it also feels so ingrained into me that this sexual trait is almost part of my identity. I feel like without it I'm somehow removing a part of myself which is not okay.

My question is has anyone else dealt with something similar or currently dealing with a similar situation? If you have or/are what are some methods that help you cope with or without that "part" of you?

I've tried accepting, owning, loving and hating it but none seem to work so far. It could be my meds I think (225Mg effexor) but they help a lot with general depression and OCD issues. Any advice, direction or information would be immensely helpful and If you got this far into my ramblings? Thank you.

[Cookido]

I can relate to some of the things you have written. I can only give you my view in the matter and what has helped me. First, it is okay to be sexually active and fantasize. It is your mind and your fantasy only. What I think might help, which you might have tried already, is to quit porn entierly. It might help to not get exposed to things you feel uncomfortable with.

Many of my friends have had one night stands or have a FWB. However, I think it might not be for everyone. I have a friend who does it as a destructive behavior, which leaves here feeling worse than before. For others, it's a fun experience. I've never tried it myself and can't really say more than that.

[California Dreaming]

Hi nanajosh. Welcome to OOTS. I was groomed by my brother with pornography at 8 years old, and he molested me until I was 12. My mom walked in on us when we were naked in a bed together, and she never said a word about it. I also was molested by a pastor/cult leader for 2 years in my early twenties. R*** was a part of my experience as well. I cannot fully unpack my journey in this post, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that you can work through this with the right kind of help. I still have open wounds but also have scars from healing.

I am not sure what hypersexuality means to you, but thinking about or fantasizing about sex often is not uncommon. Acting on it often is what tends to cause problems.

"The big issue is when ever I climax I almost feel like a child again." I hope that one day you will view this as * up. In brain science, there is a saying that "what fires together wires together." Your brain was developing rapidly during your period of sexual abuse, so the brain cells that were firing together were making a brain map. One day, you will be able to make a new brain map. It certainly is not your fault that your brain got mapped the way that it did. Your courage to reach out to this community can be a part of remapping your brain.

"I can still choose not to do it which helps but it also feels so ingrained into me that this sexual trait is almost part of my identity. I feel like without it I'm somehow removing a part of myself which is not okay." Masturbation also is not uncommon. Sexual identity is very personal, and with time and hard work, you can become clear about your sexual identity. It can be extremely confusing for sexual abuse survivors.

A big challenge at this point is finding the right help. Have you worked with a counselor or psychiatrist who themselves are a survivor of sexual abuse?

[Blueberry]

A big challenge at this point is finding the right help. Have you worked with a counselor or psychiatrist who themselves are a survivor of sexual abuse?

Thanks Calif.Dreaming from me as Mod for replying to this post in some detail.
I want to add for nanajosh that ime the counselor, therapist, psychiatrist doesn't need to be a survivor of sexual abuse. My present T, who is trauma-informed, helped me re-map  to some extent. I have been working with him for about 3 years now and I have no idea whether he suffered any type of child abuse or later abuse. It's never been a topic. He keeps his private stuff out of therapy. Previous therapists did not always do that. I like it this way.

I still get triggered a lot by thinking or writing about the issue, which is why I didn't respond before.