Motivation

[Cookido]

I've been thinking a lot about motivation and why it disappeared. All through life I've been motivated to do something, long term.

After I got a bad panick attack I decided to "quit" my school assignment (and do it later. If later happens). I argued it was due to focusing on my health. I understand more now that it's due to lack of motivation. It's all dead. I don't mind going to the therapist or do house chores or other every day things, I don't feel depressed. But I don't have any motivation for the future or long term plans.

It's scary because I've never been completely out of long term goals. How do I get the motivation back? I think it could help knowing the cause behind it, but I'm not sure what that is.

[Sceal]

I relate to this so much. I too have always had long term plans, and always looked to the future.  because the past and the present were just too hard to deal with, and the future still had hopes. But this year, motivation and hope has diminished.

I took a class in motivational psychology. It is all very complicated to explain every aspect of it. But as far as motivation for long term goals, it's important to create smaller goals to build up to the big one. Break it up. This is important for three reasons.
a) It makes it easier to actually works towards the end goal if the first step doesn't seem so far away
b) it encourages your inner motivation ( inner motivation is much better than external motivation for long term plans)
c) Once you've accomplished a few of the mini-steps you can look backwards and see what you have accomplished and know that you are moving forward. you are no longer at square zero.

I don't know if this helps, I hope it does.

[sanmagic7]

i think those steps sceal wrote are very good.  i like the idea of doing things on a small scale when we lose our bigger picture.

sometimes, too, (my opinion) i think that we may lose motivation after having to let something go that meant 'future' for us, like you letting go of your classes for now.  those were pointing to the future for you, and when the panic attack sideswiped you, it may have also sideswiped thinking about the future as well.

i don't think it's a permanent thing, just one of those temporary glitches that c-ptsd offers up when we least expect or want it.  i think your motivation will return as you continue moving forward in your recovery.  these bumps in our road can be so frustrating, frightening, and even debilitating at times.  however, they usually pass, with time and patience. 

i hope you keep taking care of yourself as best you can while you're in this particular spot.  sending a warm, loving hug to you.

[Deep Blue]

i don't think it's a permanent thing, just one of those temporary glitches that c-ptsd offers up when we least expect or want it.  i think your motivation will return as you continue moving forward in your recovery.  these bumps in our road can be so frustrating, frightening, and even debilitating at times.  however, they usually pass, with time and patience

I agree with Sceal too.  I like to make lists for myself and then cross things off when they are complete.  Sometimes they are easy things but it makes me feel more accomplished and my motivation comes back.  When I feel overwhelmed that's when I feel like my motivation dwindles. 

[Cookido]

Sceal, thank you for the tip. I'm not sure what thouse small goals would be when I have no bigger picture. I guess the goal should be to go back to school work. I think the side that wants me to go back to school do it for "should" reasons though. I don't think that I want to go back.

sanmagic7, you are very right about my motivation disappearing as my study collapsed. My T also said it's a temporary thing and that my motivation will come back and that she is sure of it. It makes no sense to me at all and it makes me kinda angry. It can't just mysteriously come back. Everything has a reason and explanation.

Deep Blue, I like making lists too. I feel overwhelmed but my main issue is fear of not achieving, which leads to me not being able to achieve anything.

Sorry for the negativity, I'm in dark place right now and been for a while. I do appriciate all your support and feedback.

[Deep Blue]

Cookido,
People always told me that everything happens for a reason.  I never really agreed with that.  Why do abusers and those that take advantage come into our lives? Is it for a reason? I'm not sure I like the idea of that.

As far as making lists go, sometimes I write really easy goals on my list.  For example, Some of my past lists have included things like, take a shower, take 10 min for myself, trim my nails, move the box upstairs.  It may seem silly but I feel like I have accomplished things when I cross them off. 

Sorry you are feeling like you are in a dark place.  Can I just send a  with a candle to help you find your way?

[Rainagain]

I've heard that the minimum goal for happiness is something to look forward to.

I don't have that really but am working on it.

Something modest would work, easier than a larger achievement to aim at.

[Cookido]

Deep Blue, I understand where you are aiming at but I think your example sounds more like purpose and not reason. There is a reason for my motovation going away and there should be a reason for it to come back, that I can work for. Just waiting doesn't feel good.

I like the idea of making a list for relaxing! It doesn't sound silly at all, I think it sounds helpful, thank you.

Rainagain, sounds reasonable. Maybe happiness would make studying easier. My IC tells me I can't be happy unless I do what I'm supposed to do though.

[Rainagain]

I suppose I meant studying would be easier if you had something to look forward to.

There's the long term happy goal, maybe if you finish your assignment you get to land on the moon or land the great job as a university professor or something.

Then there's the short term goal, an hour of study means you get to leap about the kitchen listening to Soundgarden really loud for 5 minutes eating an icecream. Pick your track, get the treat ready then get studying?

If you have a good reason for doing something it helps, maybe you have forgotten the reason?

Or maybe you need to invent some?

I don't do much because I have no goal, but I'm quite old so its sort of ok, I've either achieved my goals or its too late to worry now......sort of.

[Sceal]

Sceal, thank you for the tip. I'm not sure what thouse small goals would be when I have no bigger picture. I guess the goal should be to go back to school work. I think the side that wants me to go back to school do it for "should" reasons though. I don't think that I want to go back.

Perhaps your current goal could be to find out what you want, and what you need right now? And you could break it down by writing pro/con lists, doing mindfulness (if you like that), allowing yourself to take time off to not worry about this.
Or maybe your current goal could be to come out of the depression?
Just suggestions and thoughts, if they feel wrong - then please, do just disregard them!

I agree that 'should' and 'have to' are poor reasons to do something. Remember, this is Your life. You get to decide if you want it or not. Although that can be really hard to do sometimes.

[DecimalRocket]

Maybe it would help if you look at a list of intrinsic motivations you can develop? Here's a list I found from https://www.creativerevolution.com.au/mi/7-factors-promote-intrinsic-motivation

Challenge
We are best motivated when we are working toward personally meaningful goals whose attainment requires activity at a continuously optimal (intermediate) level of difficulty.

Curiosity
Something in the physical environment attracts our attention or there is a discrepancy between present knowledge or skills and what these could be if we engaged in some activity.

Control
We have a basic tendency to want to control what happens to us.

Fantasy
We use mental images of things and situations that are not actually present to stimulate our behavior.

Competition
We feel satisfaction by comparing our performance favorably to that of others.

Cooperation
We feel satisfaction by helping others achieve our goals.

Recognition
We feel satisfaction when others recognize and appreciate our accomplishments.