Cancer

[Kizzie]

I received a call yesterday from the mammography clinic that I need to go back in because the radiologist wants more Xrays and an ultrasound to check something s/he found in the Xrays I had about 2 wks ago.  My heart stopped and I am so afraid.  I survived ovarian cancer in 2007 but if it's breast cancer will I be so lucky?

I just started feeling good again after two knee replacements - getting out and walking and riding my bike, making plans to do so much more than I have been able to do in years and now maybe  yet another potentially serious health issue.  I go in on Monday - it will be a long, tough weekend and then week waiting to hear.

I hate having CPTSD. My heart has taken a beating for sure, but my poor body has been injured/damaged just as much 

[Hope67]

Hi Kizzie,
Wishing you strength to endure the wait for your appointment on Monday - I hope you can find some things to help you to cope and distract yourself from worrying, but I know it won't be so easy to do that.  But hopefully the news will not be bad, and whatever happens, you're being seen early - so they can do whatever they need to do to help you the best way.  Just wanted to send you a warm and supportive hug, if that's ok  - thinking of you and wishing you the best outcome.
Hope 

[Elphanigh]

Kizzie,

I am sending you all the love and compassion in the world. It is scary dealing with so many health issues, but I am glad you are getting seen earlier. As Hope said, it means they can do what they need to help you best. Cancer is something that really hits close to home for me, know that you are in my thoughts always. Good luck, Kizzie. I do truly hope that what she found was nothing and this is just a safe precaution. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Love and safe warm hugs 

[Kizzie]

Tks Hope and Elph - unfortunately it has been 7 yrs since my last mammogram which is why I am scared (i.e., it may not be early).  I am trying not to panic, but having gone through cancer once I do worry.   

Hugs are awesome, I love them (which is something because in 2013 I didn't even like cyber ones) 

[Blueberry]

  Sending distraction from the panic, strength, courage, and good support IRL from whoever can provide that.

[Elphanigh]

I am glad you have grown to like the cyber hugs, Kizzie. 

Remember we are all with you through this.

[Sceal]

  That is some really scary news that you've recieved! I hope it all goes well on monday and that it was all "just" a scare.
Sending you all the support I can!

[Dee]

Wish you the best on Monday.  Try not to diagnose yourself before you know what's wrong.  Harder said than done.



Dee

[Deep Blue]

Kizzie,
I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I can't imagine how the waiting must be weighing on you.  Sending you love and strength during this time. 
Take care,
Deep Blue

[Kizzie]

Tks for your good wishes everyone, it really does help. 

Time for a

[ah]

Kizzie,

I'm so sorry, I know it can be horrible, like your nerves are being chafed.

In my experience, waiting is the worst part. When you know what you're up against you know where to direct your energy, you come up with plans, you regroup. Make lists... think, use logic... all the grounding things that give order and control back. Whether it's bad news or good news, you have a job to do once you get it but waiting can be exhausting business because your mind is trying to do all that too soon, before you know all the facts. It goes around in circles till it collapses.

Can you distract yourself with silly things, I mean seriously stupid ones that would keep your mind partially busy? Like binge watching ridiculous things and eating junk food you love but wouldn't ordinarily touch, whatever works. I bet there'll still be the worry and stress in the background, it would be worrying if you didn't feel horrible right now. Nothing could be more realistic than feeling awful while you have to wait.

I'm thinking of you

[sigiriuk]

Hi Kizzie
Good luck on Monday. Sending positive energy and good vibes over the weekend.
Slim

[Libby183]

Thinking of you and wishing a good outcome.  It's so unfair to have this awful period of not knowing,  so take good care of yourself.

Libby.

[woodsgnome]

May you draw on the deep reservoir of self-compassion you've shown in how you've handled this forum. It's something we've all learned about you.

You need it now, but it's not easy to maintain; so here's to your continued ability to find that strength to carry you now. And remember you have the support of everyone here as well.

[sanmagic7]

having just gone thru both these tests twice in the past 8 mos., and having had cancer surgery last nov., i totally empathize with what you're facing, physically and emotionally.  sending all the strength i can muster, and i agree with everyone about distracting yourself as best you can.  waiting is the pits.  love and tons of hugs, kizzie.  we're with you all the way.