TV shows trigger me **TW**

[Kizzie]

I'm so glad it helped Deep Blue,  I hope you can hang onto the images when the past creeps in and that Little Blue begins to feel stronger.   

[Deep Blue]

So I did some exposure therapy with the trunk memory yesterday. I did well overall.  Make and model pictures were fine.  I was even able to talk about it for a bit.

Last night I was wrecked with nightmares.  How do I change the narrative in a dream?  I was ok today... just emotionally exhausted.

Now tonight my H made me watch NCIS New Orleans and they had a scene with a girl in a trunk.

I quit!!!!

[Elphanigh]

Sending all the healing energy and then safe hugs if those are okay for you in this moment.

Nightmares are tricky, especially when brought on by therapy. I have had many. The only way I have had that changed the narrative was getting to fully process the memory itself (or you can directly process the nightmare) we did a few different methods with mine when I was in a really bad stretch of them, it took a few weeks but that nightmare did change some. It hasn't really plagued me since.

That being said I know you are doing exposure therapy and I am not sure how that works in to what I have said. My T switches between several sets of things for me, because my needs ant diffrent sessions and even mid session shift so wildly. Still getting a handle on finding what works well for different pieces. It might be something to discuss with your T. Nightmares come as part of the territory but it is something that can definitely be eased

[Kizzie]

My worst fears and memories come up come when I am falling asleep, asleep and/or waking up.  I've come to think of it as the primal part of me being allowed to express itself without the control of the executive or adult part of me. It's frightening I know and I am so sorry you were triggered into a nightmare.  You did better in the therapy session though so perhaps you are beginning to deal with the unthinkable?

FWIW I took a lot away from the reading I have done here and in books about trying to sit with those feelings as best I can when I have them.  They are important, they are how we experienced things when we were trapped and traumatized and why we have suppressed and avoided them for so long.   Who in their right mind ever wants to feel those things again?  No-one!  Like you there are still things that trigger me, but the good news is the feelings are diminishing overall and maybe the same will happen for you.  I am rooting for you 

[Deep Blue]

Elphanigh,
We started processing the memory in therapy this week.  It was honestly fine, until she asked about the smell.  At that point the flashback came and I called it quits for the day.  I didn't have a panic attack or anything.  I just didn't like the intrusive flashback so I asked if we could ground and put it away.  Maybe if I finish fully processing the memory it will give me less nightmares? I will talk to T about this thanks. From you  are always good.

Kizzie,
I think you are right.  I need to sit with the memory and stop pushing it away.  Maybe if I sit with it, I won't get attacks at night.  I left therapy thinking I had done a good job with the memory over all. Now I wonder... if I had the panic attack, maybe I wouldn't have had all the nightmares? Last night I got nailed with the panic attack and didn't have as many nightmares.  There may be something to sitting with the feelings.
  thanks for rooting for me when you have your own stuff going on.

[Kizzie]

 

[Elphanigh]

Deep Blue, I am sure that these will get better as you go. Sending  to you and lots of healing energy. Nightmares are tough, but I promise you are doing a great job. Facing them is such hard work and you are diving right in.