Coping and control

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi there
I wanted to share about my experiences with coping and control. Over these past few years I can see my resilience to life has reduced and I don't bounce back like I used to.
I get a lot of thoughts of 'I can't cope I can't cope' and overall feel a lack control Over my life. Overwhelm is a close companion and life seems loud, harsh and over stimulating.
I practice mindfulness, meditation, getting lots of rest and have had lot of time off work.
If anyone has anything that has helped them with feeling in control and giving a sense of coping I'd appreciate.

[Deep Blue]

I'm a list person by nature.  I don't know if it will help you, but sometimes I write lists of things to help me get back to center.  I have written lists of things I am thankful for.  I have also made lists of things I CAN control.  Ex) I can't control others but I can control my own actions

[California Dreaming]

I agree with Deep Blue in that I only can control me. I can't control my thoughts, but I can control how I work with them. I also can control my behavior, within limits of course. I cannot recall whether you are working with a therapist. The recovery process seems to require the help of a professional, specifically one who has an understanding of the effects of interpersonal trauma. Some of what I have learned about control is paradoxically about letting go. Acceptance and letting go have been a difficult but rewarding part of my process.

[DecimalRocket]

Aside from the above, I both agree and disagree with that. We can control ourselves, but not to the level we want to. If people could fully control themselves, then there won't be as much of a problem with disciplining ourselves for things like diet or everyday responsibilities. So what I focus on when feeling a sense of control are my own strengths, the abilities I have that I have more control to do better in.

For some who are more creative, they can find that in humor or music. Some tend to be more orderly and find safety in a routine they can go back to, or a feeling of accomplishment from a checklist. Some people tend to be good at working with people, and they find solace in being able to volunteer their efforts toward a cause. Some may be spiritual, whether a religious or non-religious spirituality and may find some peace in prayer or meditation.

I personally just enjoy thinking and pondering books I've read. I like quiet activities like that, and it's calming.

Well, good luck.