Starting therapy before moving out?

[berceuse]

Hello,

I need to hear some opinion on this, so I decided to write here. Is there an optimal time for starting therapy?

I was thinking about seeking help after I move out, but cognitive dissonance is wearing me down. On the one hand, I am constantly thinking -mostly in the form of intrusive daydreams- about leaving/going NC etc. On the other hand, I believe I am making it up/overreacting etc.  So, I can't think thoroughly enough to make a solid plan when this is happening on a daily basis.

I know this is also a symptom of N abuse. I read the symptoms of Cptsd,  codependency, N abuse, and I show all of them including this and My M shows almost all traits of NPD.

My concern is if I start therapy and in case it works for me, I will be dealing with a lot of repressed feelings. I dont know if I can handle it while still living with my FOO. Also, I am not sure how I am gonna do the actual moving-out when I go in-between there is abuse/there is no abuse and both of them feels real.

I hope what I am saying is making sense.

Thanks.

[Deep Blue]

I'm almost positive that this is not the answer you are looking for... but you need to do what is best for you.  I know it doesn't answer the question.  Maybe you can weigh your options of starting either before or after? 

In my experience the longer I stayed.. the longer i suffered.  What was best for me was to get help right away and some of the help gave me more motivation to get out.

[berceuse]

In my experience the longer I stayed.. the longer i suffered.  What was best for me was to get help right away and some of the help gave me more motivation to get out.

Hi deepblue,
This is actually helpful. I guess I just needed to hear this from someone other than myself. Thank you.

[Deep Blue]

Glad to hear it helped 

[sanmagic7]

i agree with deep blue on this.  plus, you can use the therapy for building resources for yourself, building up your strengths, and adding to your coping mechanisms - all designed to help make the move easier and quicker for yourself.  if you explain to your t what's going on, it's possible that you don't need to get into anything too deep before you're out of there when you'll finally have the time and space to deal with more intense issues.

i don't believe you're making anything up or overreacting.  attempting to heal within toxic surroundings is very difficult.  if you're even thinking about going nc after you move out, that indicates to me that you're surrounded by poison, which means getting out is what will help save your life.  survival has been one of our greatest strengths.  knowing you need to get out is a survival mechanism, to my mind.

in the end, it is up to you - what feels best for you, what will work best, and what will make it all easier for you.  these are just my thoughts.  whatever you decide to do, i support you completely.    love and hugs, berceuse.

[berceuse]

i agree with deep blue on this.  plus, you can use the therapy for building resources for yourself, building up your strengths, and adding to your coping mechanisms - all designed to help make the move easier and quicker for yourself.  if you explain to your t what's going on, it's possible that you don't need to get into anything too deep before you're out of there when you'll finally have the time and space to deal with more intense issues.

i don't believe you're making anything up or overreacting.  attempting to heal within toxic surroundings is very difficult.  if you're even thinking about going nc after you move out, that indicates to me that you're surrounded by poison, which means getting out is what will help save your life.  survival has been one of our greatest strengths.  knowing you need to get out is a survival mechanism, to my mind.

Thank you San,

Both for the validation and good advice. I just send an e-mail to a therapist whom I talked with two months ago. I hope she is still available.

[sanmagic7]

i hope so, too.  good luck!