What is best for me?

Started by PacSt20, May 12, 2018, 04:12:25 AM

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PacSt20

My partner of almost 3 years recently revealed to me that he relapsed on a Xanax addiction I was unaware he ever had. He had been clean the entire time we were dating, but never told me he ever had this addiction due to my feelings towards it. Xanax contributed to a lot of my childhood trauma and is one of my strongest triggers. I am upset for his selfish act of keeping this from me-- although I do understand behavior like this is the mark of someone struggling with dependency-- and I fear that staying with him through his treatment and potential future relapses would be overall harmful to my wellbeing.

On the other hand, my partner has patiently worked with me through my mood swings, suicidal thoughts and tendencies, trust issues, agressive outbursts, and several other conflicts associated with my mental illnesses. I can't help but shake the feeling that while he supported me through my own efforts to get better, I would be giving up on him the one time he needed the same from me.

I'm struggling to not view this through the scope of my own pain and would appreciate some input from an objective third party.

Rainagain

Hi,
I don't know what xanax is but would it help you to try to support your partner the best you can for as long as you can?

If you commit to doing your best then that is the most you can offer, no guarantees of success, just a willingness to help him without that help costing you more than you can afford.

Deep Blue

PAC,
I'm sorry about your dilemma.  If it were me, I would first decide the importance of the relationship.   I am much better with my husband than without him.  I love him and he is more of a help to my recovery than a hindrance.  Can you take a step back and analyze your relationship?  In no way can I tell you what to do, but I think if you search yourself you may find an answer.

:bighug:  strength to you