Dealing with people

[Snookiebookie]

I've been ruminating this morning. Replaying memories and scenarios from the past. It's made me feel like a bad person.

I felt that it must be me. That not all those people are in the wrong. I am.

What I came to realise is that what is "wrong" is that I'm really bad at dealing with people. I'm not good at dealing with confrontation; difficult situations; intense situations. And this is due to my past: my C-PTSD.

I felt that life would be much easier if I didn't have those situations and I didn't have to deal with people.  It makes sense of why I'm avoidant.

[sanmagic7]

snookie, i don't think you're bad or wrong.  i do think that the wounds we've endured have made it difficult for us to interact with others easily.  we've often come from family dynamics where caring, kind, 'normal' social interactions haven't been taught, so we've had little to no practice in doing them with anyone.

i believe that continuing in recovery helps us learn more of these interactions, helps us know when and how to set boundaries,  assert ourselves, stand up for ourselves, and ultimately know ourselves better so that we feel more at ease with ourselves.    i think that's a big starting point, actually.  the more we get comfortable with who we are, the more we know what we like, dislike, want, don't want, etc.  that's when we more easily are able to be comfortable with others.

often, because of the dynamics we grew up with, we didn't get a chance to know ourselves, so how could we possibly be comfortable interacting with others in a productive way?  please, be patient with yourself.  it takes time, determination, and willingness to explore who you really are.  i have no doubt you'll get there.   love and hugs to you.