What are your must see posts/threads here? Recommendations please :)

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Roe Lee

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Hi Everyone,

Yes i know i posted my introduction here already, but i was wondering...

What are some of your Must See Posts?

Link them here (if you want), and I'll definitely go and have a gander :)

1. i'm curious as to what people are interested in
2. i want to expose myself to as much of the forum as possible
3. it'll be a good way to get newcomers such as myself to get around by being shown around by more experienced members :)


can't wait to see your recommendations


All my love,
Roe


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woodsgnome

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Re: What are your must see posts/threads here? Recommendations please :)
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2018, 03:00:59 PM »
Well, okay. I've written lots here, more than I ever thought I would. Perhaps because I've found OOTS to be a place where so many things can be shared safely without fear of judgement from peers who 'get' it. For me this post sums up the one constant of this lonely journey.

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from August 22, 2015, »

After all this journeying with EF's and triggers and all those labeled symptoms, it seems like there's only one true constant. It's what I call The Ache.

I've always felt there's a part of me being dragged around. It's irritating and I've tried all kinds of techniques, programs,  books, this/that/other in efforts to understand, diminish, get rid of The Ache, and it sticks like perma-glue.

As if it's saying, “you're stuck with me, kid. And I ain't goin' away.” Then I rage and cry and that only seems to please this monster. But I have to live, so I travel on, whether The Ache is there or not. Not there? Wonder what that's like.

With or without a name, The Ache just stays and I can't shake it loose. I can be humming the happiest tune, walking in a peaceful forest, any place of joy or distraction; and the Ache is always there. I've begged it to leave. Nope. I've written its name on pieces of paper, even strips of bark, burned 'em, and it pops right back. The Ache has its own magical powers.

The Ache feels numb and heavy, and I cannot recall a time it wasn't present. I tell myself I accept that, as what else can I do? But I'm not sure I really believe that. Tamping down expectations seems helpful, but I'm so sad when I realize my only takeaway true friend remains The Ache.

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Roe Lee

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Re: What are your must see posts/threads here? Recommendations please :)
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2018, 11:24:31 AM »
Hi Woodsgnome,

That's a beautiful post, thank you so much for sharing it :)

I can relate, i live day to day with The Ache as well. It subsides sometimes, but pops back up again uninvited. But it's these honest exchanges that I have within this community that gives me strength to push through.

Keep these sharings coming and let's spread the love ;)




All my love,
Roe

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mourningme

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Re: What are your must see posts/threads here? Recommendations please :)
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2018, 02:41:38 AM »
Hi woodsgnome
Your post caught my attention today

------------------------------

from August 22, 2015, »

After all this journeying with EF's and triggers and all those labeled symptoms, it seems like there's only one true constant. It's what I call The Ache.

I've always felt there's a part of me being dragged around. It's irritating and I've tried all kinds of techniques, programs,  books, this/that/other in efforts to understand, diminish, get rid of The Ache, and it sticks like perma-glue.

As if it's saying, “you're stuck with me, kid. And I ain't goin' away.” Then I rage and cry and that only seems to please this monster. But I have to live, so I travel on, whether The Ache is there or not. Not there? Wonder what that's like.

With or without a name, The Ache just stays and I can't shake it loose. I can be humming the happiest tune, walking in a peaceful forest, any place of joy or distraction; and the Ache is always there. I've begged it to leave. Nope. I've written its name on pieces of paper, even strips of bark, burned 'em, and it pops right back. The Ache has its own magical powers.

The Ache feels numb and heavy, and I cannot recall a time it wasn't present. I tell myself I accept that, as what else can I do? But I'm not sure I really believe that. Tamping down expectations seems helpful, but I'm so sad when I realize my only takeaway true friend remains The Ache.
[/quote]

I just read your post and feel I could have written it myself. I feel so similar to your description. This is how I was able to describe it today.
The way I feel day after day is so exhausting. It goes like this:
Before my eyes open the instant I wake up the beast is there.
If I managed any sleep at all, it was hopelessly filled with horrible dreams.
As soon as I feel the beast, the rage sets in.  White hot rage. About the symptoms, all of them, about the cause, about the impact on my daily life of events (in my case) that I was not protected from.  The rage that this is never to be cured. Just coped with. The rage of knowing I have a chronic mental illness that I can never escape CAUSED to me NOT born in me. CAUSED to me.
Minute 2
The despair. Always the despair.
The grieving. The grief over my own living self. Mourning the loss of my self.
....and that is the end of everyday before it even begins so bring on depression for breakfast and anxiety until I drop from physical and emotional exhaustion into a dark sleepless night.