I got away (TW)

[Sceal]

I'm not sure where this actually fits in, but I feel I should address it anyway.

Some years ago I joined many online classes for alot of various things. But one of them I got quite involved in the community, and I made myself noticed by the leader and owner of the class and when he was starting up a new course he asked me to help out to be a kind of point-person between a few different teams and as well be part of one of the teams. It was HUGE for me. I admired this charismatic and passionate man alot. He gave us some pointers that if we noticed any negativity or backtalk amongst the users we weren't to handle that, but to bring it to him or one of the people who worked for him. We weren't hired, simply we got a few goods for free for doing this for him. And we all jumped at the chance.  So I did notice someone being negative and spreading their negativity around and backtalking alittle bit. So I mentioned it to the leader, he had a talk with the person in particular - and then he lashed out at me. I had overstepped my duties, this wasn't okay. I was shocked. I had done spesifically what he had asked of me, and then he yelled at me.  Me being terrified of conflict backed down immediatedly. I barely dared to talk to him anymore. I didn't understand where this outbreak had come from. It broke my confidence quite a bit. I put my head down and I did my job. After that summer, once I'd processed it - I realized his outburst towards me took away his shine for me. I continued to stay around for a while longer. I'd made quite a few friends.
Years later now, I've been told by one of my friends that he really isn't any good. I'm not going to write what he's been doing, and how he's been doing it.
And it made me realize: I got away from this one. At one point, I could have been a member of his employees, but I got away. I didn't realize at the time how fortunate I was. Something in me recognized him for what he is, someone rotten to the core. And I stepped away. Now this was mainly all online (Although I've met with him in real life on two occations) - which makes it easier to step away from the screen and react to what's happening.

The second time is more recent. There was two people in my lives, seperate from each other, but with similar attitudes and behaviour.
They would tell a huge lie, one that  wouldn't make any sense. And you'd know it right off the bat, but I felt I couldn't call them out on it because they are (according to them) trauma victims (and they might very well be - I'm not the one to judge that. I also don't know their story). They would seek out attention time and time and time again, they would get moody and blameful when things weren't going exactly their way and turn the room dark and strained. One of them would boast on their criminal past (why is that something to boast about?). It was confusing, and my gut feeling kept telling me something is very, very off here. So I stepped away. In both cases I've had people tell me their gut feelings was telling them something was off too.

None of these people are the kinds I tend to fall "prey" too, but regardless of that, I still think it must be some kind of progress to notice when there are people around me that aren't good to others, they are toxic and in the first example an abusive N.

[Hope67]

it must be some kind of progress to notice when there are people around me that aren't good to others, they are toxic and in the first example an abusive N.

Hi Sceal,
I think this is great that you are able to listen to your gut instinct and that it's helped you to step-away from those people - before things went too far and became toxic.  I agree that it's progress for sure.    to you Sceal and sending you a 
Hope 

[Deep Blue]

Sceal,
Me too, old boss, same story. 
Thanks for sharing

[Blueberry]

And it made me realize: I got away from this one. At one point, I could have been a member of his employees, but I got away. I didn't realize at the time how fortunate I was. Something in me recognized him for what he is, someone rotten to the core. And I stepped away.

Yes, yourecognised something and you got away! 

I had something similar going on with a therapist who was also an alternative healer and kind of roped her clients into the alternative stuff too and then got them to help with small duties, jsut for the honour of helping. The examples different but the dynamic sounds similar. Unfortunately it took me a long time to figure out what was going on and get away.

[sanmagic7]

congrats to you, sweetie, for getting away, and also for being able to recognize more easily now things and people that are not right for you.   i think that's a great triumph.  keep going - great progress.  love and hugs.

[Sceal]

Thank you Hope, Deep Blue, Blueberry and San!
Big hug to all of you for validating me (if okay). it feels good to know this.