I have to say I do not know whether I was abused, neglected, or traumatized but I have a lot of symptoms of CPTSD. I seem to oscillate between anxiety and anger, with a few days of semi-content peace in between. I have an aversion to touch (hugs, kisses, the elderly favorite cheek-pinch), fear of doctors and anything medical, fear of law enforcement (delusion-like idea: they will see the evil in me and hurt me), and loud noises (barking dogs, fireworks, storms, but also shouting) There are a few gaps where I just do not remember anything, I do have anger issues. I would drink almost daily after school and/or self-harm when upset by school or family. I was a "good" kid: polite, quiet, shy (more like scared of people, probably), preferred the company of older people (adults) over peers, solitary activities (books and art esp.). I remember feeling like f. is indifferent, and m. incapable of protecting me
Please, help me figure out if I can have C-PTSD. I am seeing a therapist for OCD currently, but SPD and some dissociative disorder was also suggested as options. I have issues identifying what is an issue or "not normal" and what to bring up and with establishing goals, so I would appreciate any tips and tricks on how to deal with that as well.