Emotion Regulation - High 'Ups' and low 'downs'

[cheyenne.white]

Hi

I have recently been diagnosed with c-ptsd and so I have spent a fair amount of time researching. There is a lot of info on the causes and symptoms, but not a lot on treatment.

One of the symptoms I struggle with daily is the emotional regulation. I can feel so low that I'm crying so heavily and have awful thoughts, or I can laugh strongly and have a great sense of happiness (although the happiness also feels a bit like hopelessness which is weird). However, I rarely experience the in between. It's like my body automatically reacts to the extreme in both positive and negative situations - for example, say something negative happens that is 2 out of 10, I will react as if it is a 10.

I seem unable to identify the daily triggers, I'm not convinced they are there but they may be. I try to pass things off as 'just a bad day' but they have become so frequent it is difficult. It is exhausting to try and keep up with my emotions.

Does anyone else experience this? Is there anything that can be done to help regulate emotions?

P.S. I am currently having weekly counselling sessions but still early days.

[Deep Blue]

Hey Cheyenne,
I read your post and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what you are going through.  I wish I could help directly... but may I just say, it gets better.  As time has passed... and my trauma is less fresh, the emotions even themselves out more.  I still feel the lows, but it's not as often or usually as severe. 
Much love
- Deep Blue

[finallyfree]

Dear Cheyenne,
I am so sorry your feeling this way, perhaps speaking with your doctor might help. Too many highs and lows with no middle can be exhausting. I think healing takes time, distance and understanding, but the most important thing is taking good care of yourself, physically first. I understand this is easier said than done. I wish you all the best and send a hug your way. 
Finallyfree

[sanmagic7]

cheyenne, i agree wholeheartedly with the others.  as you continue your progress against this c-ptsd beast, the emotional side does even out a bit.  and, yes, there may be some medication that can help regulate such emotional volatility until the time comes when those triggers (seen or unseen/known or unknown) aren't quite as sharp and staggering.

i definitely get that feeling of being mixed - happiness with hopelessness - as i've laughed at the same time feeling not happy at all.  it is strange, but i do believe it's part of the beast.  it takes control in ways we don't understand which causes a great amount of confusion at times.  i've spent a lot of my life confused.

patience, tolerance, acceptance, determination, self-care - these are all attributes that help us get thru, make progress, and eventually move in a forward direction toward our goal of health and well-being.  hang tough - you're not alone cuz we're hangin' right beside you.  i'm glad you're here and that you shared with us.  sending a loving hug, if that's all right.

[Laura90]

Hi Cheyenne,

Sorry to hear you have been recently diagnosed with cptsd. But I hope the community here helps you feel that you're not alone. (I used to think I was the very minority and the weirdo in the room until I found more out about complex trauma and this forum).

I'm sorry you're experiencing such highs and the lows. I really know what you mean. A doctor once described it to me as having to manage saw tooth emotions.

Talking to someone with knowledge and understanding in how our mind handles emotions after sustained trauma can be healing. It can help us understand what's going on more and the brain  relearns it's not in danger all the time as it was adapted to be programmed to.

So go you for also noting it's early days. 


We're all here for you in this journey together.

[CatMama]

Hi Cheyenne, I have also been recently diagnosed with CPTSD.

As many others have said- I feel connected to your post and know exactly how you feel. It feels better knowing that people are suffering (or have) in similar ways, we are not alone. Some days I feel like I can't stop crying and some days I am so happy, never really in between. I believe this is why CPTSD was commonly misdiagnosed as bipolar, the drastic highs and lows. I was told by my therapist to try my best to recognize my triggers- which for me was stress at work and stress from my family. Sometimes I am triggered and I don't even realize it: by a TV show, commercial, or even overhearing a conversation.

I hope my emotions will regulate the more I realize my triggers and consciously change my reactions to them (or avoid them altogether). 

[GarlicMaster]

As with everyone else - I can completely relate! You are not alone in this struggle 

A few things that have helped me with emotional regulation:

1. Physical grounding. When I feel myself going into the "red zone" I try and look for things to anchor me in the present (I have a stress ball that really helps in moments like these - I squeeze it and have even bit it when overcome with intense emotion).

2. Stop what you are doing and find a safe/comfortable place to look after your inner-child and process the emotion. This obviously only works when you have access to such a place, for me when I am at home, I lay in bed or on the sofa with a soft toy and blanket.

3. I light candles and listen to classical music to relax and unwind my body (a hot bath would also help!) I have always found listen to rain to be hugely comforting, I have this app downloaded on my phone that I can listen to at any time: http://rainymood.com

4. My partner recorded themselves calmly and soothingly repeating Pete Walker's 13-steps for managing emotional flashbacks. I have it on my phone so I can always pop my headphones in and listen to it. You can find the steps here (if you were not already aware of them): http://pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm

Lastly, these things do improve over time the more you work at it....but very slowly! There is no linear process when it comes to healing from CPTSD, and on some days the best we can do is just be kind and look after ourselves. Self-care is the most important thing.