Went NC with GrM

Started by kdke, June 14, 2018, 08:54:00 PM

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kdke

My father's mom and I had lunch yesterday after over a year of silence. I was wary of her after a previous encounter where she tried to force her authority into my life, even though she hadn't bothered to be a part of my life before then. I wasn't having it and went NC with her for some years.

Anyway, after a two-hour argument and getting a good idea of her covert narcissism nonsense, I blocked her number and decided she would be NC indefinitely. GrM had said she wanted to have a relationship with me, but that whole meeting proved that she didn't really want a relationship--she saw the mess I left with my mom and dad and saw that it was an opening for her to try to gain control over me. But while she was trying to gain the upper hand during our meeting by patronizing me and trying to shut me down, I pushed back even harder. There were a couple of times she sat back with a look of "are you seriously speaking to me that way?" while I told her she wasn't going to rob me of allowances that she assumed from me, or our conversation would end right then and there.

Usually, those kinds of confrontations send me into flight/fawn mode, but this time I was just frustrated and so done with her manipulative attitude and false compassion. She didn't really care about me, just about whether I could be another supply in her life. And when I denied her access to those things, she resorted to trying to get me to break down about my traumatic past. And when I didn't give in to her, she just kept laying it on more firmly. "I just feel so sorry for you! You have all these issues that you will carry forever! I just have so much sympathy for you!" And when I pushed it back on her saying, "If you want to pity and feel sorry for me, that's your problem, not mine," she just sighed and stared at me for the longest time. Just... stared.

Her last resort was to ask about my religious belief, of which I don't follow any real belief system and am not a Christian. GrM decided to use that to attack me one last time and said, "You're going through all this suffering now, but it won't be anything in comparison to the eternal suffering you'll endure in *." I replied, "You can believe that if it makes you happy, but just like you have your belief system, I have my own. Whatever makes you happy in this life. And if it'll make you happy to feel sorry for me, fine. I don't feel sorry for you, though."

She said, "Of course you don't! I have everything! I have a home in heaven!"

Yeah. That was the end of that lol. So delusional.