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« on: June 19, 2018, 09:38:38 PM »
Hello -

Back in January I started a new job and I love it. Except, it is quite different from any previous job I've ever had previous. The only exception it is still in the same occupational field. I've only been doing the job for 6 months and the job is so incredibly expansive; so much so that you cannot be taught everything but basics during the allotted training time. It usually takes around a year for someone to grasp the entire spectrum of this job, even still not completely. During my last monthly "one on one" meeting with my manager, he stated how quickly I was able to catch on and that I am ranked 2nd on the team, regarding speed, accuracy, and volume.

Anyways, long story short:  I was "assigned" a mentor, as all new employees are, to help train, develop and assist with any questions that may arise during the daily workflow. Which has proven to be both beneficial and detrimental. I don't need constant babysitting, nor do I need help with every single thing i face, in fact, I rarely need help anymore. But I still suffer from C-PTSD and some days are better than others, some days I have triggers, some days I don't. Some nights I sleep and get rest, others I struggle to keep my eyes open. And sometimes it won't be due to my C-PTSD, sometimes I am just working on something more complex than the norm.

Although she has been proven to be extremely helpful, patient and willing to assist with anything big or small, she is INCREDIBLY temperamental. This has been making my job unbelievably turbulent, especially when I am having one of those negative days as mentioned above. I never know what to expect, how she will respond to my question, will she be polite or snap at me. Will she make me feel stupid and give me full blown attitude? The days she responds positively, well are great, but those other times, are terrible. I am triggered back to how my mother used to be and I sink into depression, into tears, into feeling I am nothing and that I can't do a single thing right. Today was so bad, from her and another coworker, that I left work early. I couldn't take it, no matter the question, the look she gave me and the belittling was too much.

I don't know if it's just because of my C-PTSD that I am ultra-sensitive to this behavior, but it's becoming increasingly unbearable. And why should I use MY SICK TIME and leave work early, because another person doesn't know how to properly interact with their own coworkers, or person?

I just am stuck, I don't know what to do. Should I reach out to my manager and say something. I fear that if I do that, she will be more difficult to work with. But if I don't, I'm afraid that my job and performance will start to be effected. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated. I am completely lost.




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« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2018, 08:11:19 AM »
If you are already ranked 2nd in the team maybe there are others needing a temperamental mentor more than you do?

Sounds like you are in a daughter/ devouring mother type relationship with the mentor, maybe going no contact is an approach to consider.

With an expansive job there are often many approaches to reach a solution, and experience will accrue over time.

I had a job like that, expertise brought its own reward and I would often develop my own approaches, that was the fun part for me rather than seeking reassurance from others.

Keep your distance would be my approach.