Big setback

[Debora]

Hi,
The relationship with my longterm therapist fell apart in a very traumatic way and its messed me up big time. It feels like a massive setback, that ive lost all the work we did over 5years. I feel so lost and massively let down. It truely broke my heart and its also destroyed my trust in psychologists which puts me in an incredibly difficult position. I need help now more than ever and yet I have no trust in the people I am meant to go to for help. I feel very trapped and angry and a big range of emotions.....rage, fear, intense sadness and grief/loss, huge yearning for the relationship back and painful confusion.
I've tried many other psychologists since then and its like now I just see through them. Also there are some very dodgy people practising out there who are not safe. I've been rejected over and over again. Its like I am on a rollercoaster of rejection. I don't know what to do. I have been advised to put in a complaint about my ex therapist by many people........I need support before I do that though....for my own wellbeing. I don't know where to find someone who understands.

[Stepone]

Hi Debora,
I'm going through the exact same thing right now, it's so painful, I wanted to let you know you're not alone
I realised my therapist is over her head and can't help me any further. Rather than kindly and gently having the self-awareness and maturity to acknowledge it, she sent me a somewhat ranting message where her frustrations with me all leaked out. I'd sensed some disconnect for a while, and even caught her yawning on a few occasions, so I had stepped back our sessions and tried to work through some things myself. I'd also looked for a new therapist but didn't feel any click either (and like you, could see through the ones I met and sensed they couldn't help me either, and could possibly make me feel worse).  I had a very nice therapist in my previous town that I lived in, who never made me feel as rejected and bad as this therapist did in the end. It IS a betrayal and I'm wary to put too much faith in a therapist. I know they really help other people, and in the past they have helped save my life! But right now, I feel like I'm best to do what I can myself and work on my daily self care, journaling and maybe finding a local support group. I've been in a prolonged flashback and it's very painful, I think some therapists can't handle the complexity of C-PTSD, and rather than acknowledge that, they will blame the client and get defensive. I'm sending you a big hug and please take good care, I know how painful this is.

[sanmagic7]

many years ago i had, for my first t, a woman who turned out to be npd (i believe).  i was with her 8 yrs., all kinds of ethical boundaries were obliterated, and i ended up on meds for anxiety and depression.  it took me 8 more years before i felt stable enough to report her for her violations.

i'm glad i did it, even if it took me some time to get myself together.  since then, (and this has been over a period of 30 yrs.) i've tried various therapists and psychologists, and really haven't had any who have helped, guided, or directed me to where i've needed to go.  it's been a crapshoot at best.

i fired my last 2 t's as well, and am currently without any.  i rely on this forum more than anything.  i know there are good t's out there, aware of and able to deal with c-ptsd, but it takes some digging to find them.

just wanted to let you know that i hear you, have been there, and it's really difficult to come back from such an experience.  i do hope you eventually find someone who works well with you.  there are several people on the forum who have had success with their t's, so i know it's possible.

best to you with all this.  sending love and a warm, caring hug.  take care of you as best you can, ok?