Know I'm frightened

  • 5 Replies
  • 343 Views
*

Laura90

  • Member
  • 60
    • View Profile
Know I'm frightened
« on: July 15, 2018, 11:14:13 AM »
May I write on here what just happened?

I know im really scared right now but feel spacy and dizzy and curtains in room feel like they are swirling.

I split up from my ex a week ago because despite him being a nice guy, it wasn't working for me because he was also emotionally broken and I felt i was giving and not receiving in the relationship and there was little spark anymore. We've had little contact. I've texted him to see if he's been ok but left it at that to give him space if he wants it.

Anyway I was just dozing in my food stained PJs from my days of bingeing and purging and I heard a motorbike engine. (He rides a scooter). I then hear my knocker go. And then again. But that's not how normally he used to knock when he'd popped over invited of course. I run to look through my curtains but don't catch a glimpse of who it was.

It was the way my knocker went, in an aggressive sounding 1 knock noise. It happened yesterday and i heard neighbours getting in their car saying "i dont think shes in" but I assumed it was just perhaps a fundraiser walking by people's homes money raising down along the street I live on
 (I never normally get anyone knocking at my home)
Now I'm freaked out. I've been the one to check how he is to hear no reply and now if it was him he's suddenly come by my home with no notice when he knows I have cptsd. I can understand he's angry but... Now I'm petrified. Locked all the doors shut windows and dont want to leave my front door at all today.

*

Blueberry

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • 5683
    • View Profile
Re: Know I'm frightened
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2018, 06:17:44 PM »
Sitting with you, Laura.   :hug:

*

sanmagic7

  • Member
  • 5936
    • View Profile
Re: Know I'm frightened
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2018, 10:47:50 PM »
i'm with you, too, laura.    :hug:

*

Laura90

  • Member
  • 60
    • View Profile
Re: Know I'm frightened
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2018, 07:48:43 AM »
Thank you Blueberry and Sanmagic for sitting with me the other day. Very kind of you both.  :)

*

Blueberry

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • 5683
    • View Profile
Re: Know I'm frightened
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2018, 11:12:49 AM »
How are you doing now?

*

Laura90

  • Member
  • 60
    • View Profile
Re: Know I'm frightened
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2018, 06:18:36 PM »
Better thanks Blueberry  :thumbup:

Panic has settled and I'm more annoyed with him more than anything now which I guess is a healthy feeling to have