A new thought

[Sceal]

Today I had a new thought, a new sensation.
I think, that perhaps, maybe.. That I'm becoming a better person.

[Sadie48]

That's your gut talking, Sceal.  Listen to it!

[Sceal]

I will try, Sadie. I mean, I am listening to it now.
And I hope I will listen to it again tomorrow.

[Deep Blue]

 
I like that thought. Stronger, wiser, better. 

[Sceal]

  Thank you

[sanmagic7]

it's a good thought, and i believe it's the result of all the hard work you've been putting in, all the time and energy, all the movement forward you've been making.  you so deserve this, sweetie.  love and hugs.

[Sceal]

I don't know about deserve. But I do know I've worked for it

[Blueberry]

I like that thought. Stronger, wiser, better. 

and  Sceal!

[Sceal]

Haha! Thank you Blueberry

[Sceal]

I am noticing something exciting!!

Instead of being constantly stuck in my way of thinking like " I can't do more work than 20% at the moment, and that work is going towards my therapy.", I don't use it as a defence/explanation/protection as much now then just a few days ago. (Although, given I do have a good day today) but I am able to shift my thoughts to "Alright, 20%, okay. Let's do the 20% then, and not worry so much about it."

And I'm able to do more of those small steps that breaks down the goal. Like, I am working on forgiving my mother. But instead of being so concerned about the forgiving part - I am curious about her. I ask things about her, "how was it watching the moonlanding on the telly?", "did you watch it?", "How long were you and dad together before you got me?", 

It's like, I got my curiosity back! It's slow, it's like a machine that constantly needs oiling, but I stopped oiling it for so long. And now I just need to slowly oil it so it'll be functional again.

[Kalmer]

Sceal - that's great  well done you!

[Sceal]

Thank you, Kalmer!