Introductory Post

[Sparky]

Hello
This is my first post here. Although I have read some of your stories, my abuse suffered as a child was one of neglect. There was some corporal punishment,but not much. My heart aches for those that have suffered so more than I. I have family and friends that suffered much more than I,but I know that doesn't mean I didn't suffer.

I was born and raised the first 14-15 years of my life on a religious cult in the 70's and 80's and had parents that were completely unemotional and without support other than what little clothes and food they could afford. The cult had a single ruler who had control over most all ways of life, and if he did not then his wife did. He received all money from my dad and other dad's hard work. He had power to tell my parents how much and what they could buy.

My parents never supported me with either emotional or physical love at all. I was one of 7,the middle child, and my mother just had to survive. There was never any praise for me or even showing that they were happy for me in anything. No attention paid to school grades or even if I went. I went to 12-13 different schools before I dropped out after my junior year.

To finish up this first post.  I had good feelings,or what I thought were feelings, up until the last 2 years about my parents and childhood. I had a few bad memories,but nothing that made me think I was abused. I am 47 now and spent most of my 20's back with the cult leader trying to either be my dad or approved of the leader. All the time thinking he loved and cared for me. Thankfully thru therapy and EMDR I have discovered that he didn't and neither did my parents. I was a after thought.

[sigiriuk]

Dear Sparky
Welcome to the group. I am glad that you have found us.
You went through some terrible experiences, and a part of you has found the strength to share them with us. This is a huge achievement.
I was so confused when i came here, but with the support of the group, I feel a little stronger every day.
Glad you are here.
Slim

[Kizzie]

Hi Sparky and a warm welcome to OOTS 

Neglect is very much a form of abuse and when it is ongoing can lead to the development of Complex PTSD as you know. The trauma in relational abuse/neglect is not being loved, cared for and protected, nurtured, valued .... and for children especially this means we are under threat constantly because our very lives are at risk. If we don't have safe caregivers, we could very well die and we know that in the core of our being. 

All this is to say that no matter how the abuse was expressed, physically, sexually, through neglect it is emotionally traumatic to our sense of self, safety, belonging and worth in this world and the reason why we develop CPTSD. 

We do have some good info on both neglect (https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=2574.0) and religious/cult abuse (https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=2572.0).

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome! Glad you found us.

[Not Alone]

Welcome.